I am really impressing my employer- is that the sack I see approaching?

I really need to learn to follow these basic lessons. My boss is annoying but I do not want to get fired.

Therefore this is a list of things I will no longer be doing....well maybe.

Do not after turning up half an hour late claim you were there all day and your boss "simply didn't take the time to notice my existence which I find deeply wounding."
Ted replied "Kate not only is that inappropriate it suggest a possible lack of respect for me."

On being told you show a possible lack of respect for your boss do not - I repeat DO NOT correct said boss with the statement. "No it wasn't not a possible lack of respect it was a definite lack of respect."

Do not manage to wear two shoes that while relatively similar in colour have about an inch and a half difference in heal size. When others notice this it is hard to find any explanation for this extreme blondeness

If you do make the mistake above do not spend half an hour rigorously defending it as a style choice. No one was fooled and if you are prone to blushing you will then get called red Kate all day (as in Ken)

Do not sulk about being laughed at - try to storm off and then fall off said shoes. Spectacularly.

Do not ever admit to weird phobias these will be used against you. Ted seems to have decided that I am mentally challenged due to the occasional squeaks from my desk I stupidly told Rob earlier about my crippling fear of rabbits. Cue the sales team sending pictures of rabbits to me all day causing me to leap up and demand they delete the nasty picture. They also keep singing "Bright Eyes" at me - not obviously scary but singing talent is lacking... (Note to self do not tell them about the spider fear)

There are many other stupid things I could put down here but one thing I did learn was don't give away all your secrets in one go.

Anyway today we are all going to the pub. The sales team seem on the verge of rebellion and after today I need a drink!

Working from home -injuries

Woo. I think working from home. I can nurse my hangover in the privacy of my darkened living room with lots of coffee. This is great. I wake up at exactly five minutes to nine and go to my computer and log on. This is rare for me I am actually on time - my computer clock says 8:59. I am a dedicated employee in early for work! Ha

After logging on and emailing as many people as possible so they can see I am actually working. I giggle at emailing them in pyjamas then promptly spill tea all down my top. Oh crap. I take a moments naughty amusement in topless emailing and the decide I should be more sensible.

My being sensible consists of making myself more tea. I also feel hungry. I so rarely eat junk food I figure I have earned a fried egg sandwich breakfast. See a definite advantage of not being at work - could I fry an egg there?

Ouch ouch ouch!

Have just been promptly reminded why frying topless is a very very very bad move. Clearly with no workmates to supervise me I become a danger to myself.

Good job I am back at the office tomorrow.