Hi Simon, jealousy and the fire of karma

Pretty sure this will go in history as one of my stupidest things to date.
The day started so well. Simon arrived he seems really great. I have put Jamie in a terrible mood by mentioning my lunch date as often as possible. The guys all go to the pub for lunch and I remind them loudly that I am going on a date with coffee guy and might take an extended lunch.
Jamie glares. Ethan rolls his eyes. “Have fun and try not to fall off the shoes Kate.”

Hmm the shoes are lovely it a little difficult to walk in. However I didn’t fall over on the date. I wish…..

I met coffee man who seemed nice, friendly and actually quite good fun. We went to a nice Italian restaurant with candles on the table - nice. He tells me he’s been wanting to ask me out for months which pretty much makes me feel like a maggot for using him to make Jamie jealous. I decide maybe I should move on to some one who is single.

Lunch flies by and we both realize we have to dash back to our offices. He insists on paying. I try to put in half but he won’t let me. As we leave I wipe my hands with the cloth napkin and toss it back onto the table.

On the candle.

Which sets it alight

And then sets the table cloth on fire

I just set the table on alight....



Oh my God it has all gone up in smoke - literally. The waiters run over with jugs of water. I don’t think I have ever been this embarrassed in my life.

I run out of the restaurant.

Yeah he's never calling me again...and I am pretty sure I am banned from that restaurant.

I hate karma. And napkins

Drunk at work, bad influences and meetings

So I decide to solve my co-worker crush by going to the pub with Rob, Ethan Jamie and Andi.
Very mature I know.

Rob laughs and says he wants to see if I do better with presentations when drunk. Must not drink too much I think as he brings me a Gin and Tonic. This is at midday my meeting is at 3pm. It will be fine.

Gin and Tonic number 1

Rob is probably right a drink will help the nerves when meeting the shareholder of our company I think. And Rob is being very sweet and keeps offering to get more drinks

Gin and Tonic number 2

Oh did I mention Ted is on holiday so there is no pressure to get back to work…

We begin chatting about various topics that I am going to suggest you keep out of your own office including:

• If Ted realises that we all steal his biros every time he gets a new one.
• If you cut off and ate your own arm (not taking bleeding into consideration whether you would weigh the same or less) I suggest less due to calories burned eating it.
• If you would rather lose a leg or never be able to have sex again
• If you would consider incest if your sister looked like Angelina Jolie.

Gin and Tonic number 3

I haven’t eaten today and I have had three G&T’s and feel very bad...

Ethan suddenly says “We’ve been over two hours we better get back to the office.”

There are groans all around and I try to stand up and realise the floor is moving. It seems very funny.

Ethan looks at me in horror – “How much have you had?”

“I’m not sure.” I say smiling, “Rob brought me drink to drink.” I laugh and fall over. Ethan rolls his eyes and says “He’s been giving you doubles you idiot”

Oops.

I end up being carried by Ethan back to the office. We meet May there who takes one look at me and starts yelling at Rob. I try to tell her not to be cross but can’t stop laughing.

The next half hour consists of Andi and May feeding me toast and coffee continually and by the time our shareholder arrives I can at least walk. Not sure I made a good impression...

Things I learnt today:

• Never let Rob buy you a drink
• Ethan is surprisingly strong
• May is wonderful in a crisis
• Instant coffee tastes like crap
• Men will commit incest if their sister is hot enough

Kreativ Blog Award

Woo I just won my first award ever -the Kreativ Blogger award, given by Plentymorefishoutofwater. He is hilarious and I recommend everyone follows him immediatel

As part of this I need to write seven things about me ... so here goes seven previously undisclosed facts about Kate:

1 My arms, legs hands, wrists and feet are all double jointed. It can seriously freak some people out.

2 My nicknames include: Daisy, Kitkat, Cactus, Blondie, Trouble and Elliot-alike

3 Apparently I remind lots of people of the blonde girl from Scrubs due to extreme blondness and how high and fast I talk. This gets made worse when i am flustered or annoyed

4 I refuse to leave the house unless my underwear is matching and pretty. This is not in case I get killed by a bus but in case I survive it and am operated on by a cute doctor.

5 I really struggle to make things work on the blog. Case in point the sentence above is in italic and it is not meant to be.

6 I have to carry my passport around with me in order to get served in bars which is really annoying as I am over 25!

7 I have total rabbit phobia much to everyone’s amusement. The sight of a rabbit makes me scream a fact that my workmates use to their advantage often. It stems from Watership Down a terrifying film I watched when I was very young


Finally, I must pass on this Kreativ Blogger award someone else. I really struggled as there are so so many amazing bloggers but I finally narrowed to three so honourable mentions go to:

http://youmakemydate.blogspot.com - I have only been following Sara for a short time but she is so funny. As a dating disaster she is letting the public vote on what she does when dating. It's almost a reality TV show in a blog...but better.

http://thelifechick.blogspot.com The stories in this blog are inspired by the funny, tedious, or painfully humiliating experiences - definitely worth checking out 

And the winner is: Danzers!
A real-life light-hearted serial about a midlife crisis, why his wife might be a Prostitute and how he's going to leave her and move to the South of France with a Polish pole-dancer! Happy reading.



So thanks again Fish!
Kate x

Silly games, flirting, jealousy in a far too small office

I must stop having a crush on my co-worker especially now he has a girlfriend it is becoming embarrassing.
Today Jamie and I have been scoring points (no not the fun kind.) Every sentence he says starts with "My girlfriend" In retaliation I have responded with constant mentions of "My date."

Rob eventually gets annoyed and starts pelting the pair of us with crumpled paper balls. I decide to join him for a cigarette despite the fact I don’t smoke.

"So what’s going on with you and Jamie?" He asks
"Nothing" I say "he has a girlfriend remember."
Rob laughs "Yeah but that’s just another notch on the wall for him."
"Yeah exactly." This is the problem with being one of the boys. You learn stuff about them that you probably shouldn't.

Rob gives me a hug and says.
"You know I'm still single...."
"Yes and just last week you told me you were looking to shag your way through a rugby team by the end of the year." I say.
He laughs "I could try not to."
"While that is tempting I think I’ll pass. Besides I have to work for this stupid presentation I’m giving this afternoon remember?"
Rob smiles - "Dutch courage that’s what you need."

I get the feeling this is a really bad idea. Must not drunk too much and make idiot of self in front of shareholders. Must not be so nervous I can't speak in front of shareholders, must not fall over in front of shareholders.

As we walk back into the office Jamie loudly mentions his girlfriend.

I email Rob saying a drink sounds like a great idea.

Simon says... stay of execution and a date!

So Simon was offered the job!

Ted rang his recruitment consultant this morning and said how impressed he was by this young mans demeanour. Not to mention the other one ran away screaming eh Ted?

Simon for some unknown reason has accepted and is joining us on Wednesday next week. True to form we have immediately organised welcome to the team drinks for Wednesday lunch. Even better as Ted is on holiday Tuesday and Wednesday next week.

It was also a good day as I ended up not having to do my presentation in the dreaded management meeting. To explain why this is so scary once a month every Friday all the managers which include Ted, Jay, Andi and May have an all day meeting with one of our shareholders.

It tends to go on until past five and at lunchtime Andi emerges and begs each of us in turn to either poison shoot or incapacitate her so she doesn’t have to go back. I also hate giving presentations. This week though they were so busy there wasn't time for a marketing presentation. The shareholder is popping in Wednesday afternoon to meet me so I can give it to him one to one. So bets on whether I can do this without screwing it up? Or blushing?

And I have a revenge flirting plan. Jamie is still going on about his new girlfriend constantly... but I have a date. Every week I go and grab a coffee at about 11am. For the last month a guy called Tim has been chatting to me - he works in the area and has been pressing for a lunch date. So I am going out with him next Thursday. Take that Jamie.

Right off for Jacks leaving do - must make sure I mention the date.

http://www.humorbloggers.com

Job interviews and scoring 6 out of 5

The two interviewees - just to recap there was Simon the sweet and nice guy who seems a little shy and Janice the louder of the two who seems good fun but has the worlds most annoying laugh.

However, Janice clearly didn't like the look of us as she left after just one glass of wine and said she wanted to "Go spend time with her real friends." Ouch.

As the night went on Ted was being his normal incredibly annoying self - insisting Simon spends five minutes chatting to each of us individually as an informal interview. Simon rolled his eyes at this but took it well.

I go and take my five minutes of Simon time after Ted bribes me with another drink. I hate it when Ted is smart.

I awarded Simon a point system during the interview - not for the purposes of hiring him but just whether I thought we'd get on. His score is below

"Hey Simon I'm Kate." I say
He smiles and says, "I feel like I've gone speed dating or something which is weird as you are the first female I've gotten - do you think I should ask for my money back."
I laugh.
"So on a scale of one to ten how bad has this interview been?" I ask
He laughs again "Well crap but I have been brought five beers. Unfortunately I get the feeling Ted still expects me to be making sense."
"Yes he has weird ideas about thing like that." I admit.
He looks around surreptitiously and whispers, "My first interview lasted two hours and the first hour was just Ted telling me about his own CV. I felt like thanking him and saying he had the job."
"An hour of his CV? And you came back? Why?" I ask.
He blushes and says sheepishly, "My recruitment consultant told me there would be free drinks."

I like him!

How I scored points :

• Being cute - 1 point
  
• Being cute enough that I saw Jamie look annoyed when we were talking - HA - 1 point
  
• Making fun of Ted - 1 Point
  
• Making fun of Ted again - 1 Point
  
• Admitting he only came to the interview for free drinks - 1 Point
  
• Blushing - 1 Point

Alcoholic interviews part one - One vodka and tonic later

Well to kick things off with a flying start Ted invited both candidates along at the same time. I knew he couldn't get it right for very long.

“Er you didn’t want to keep them separate?” I ask. Rob raises his eyebrows at this.
“No.” Says Ted, “I thought it would save time and money to do it all in one go.”
“But don’t you think they might feel a bit awkward knowing they are both competing for the same job?” Rob asks tactfully.
Ted frowns and the looks up brightening. “We could sell it like X factor, competing for one spot.”

What planet does this man live on?
Rob and I exchange dubious looks.
“Ted this is a junior sales position not a record contract.” I point out gently

Ted looks confused. “And?”
“God were you out for pizza when tact was handed out?” I say.

I know he is my boss and I should not lose my temper but.... the man is an idiot. I roll my eyes and turn to Rob who is laughing
Rob nudges me and says “Er Kate you were probably out when they were giving us tact too.”
“Yeah but at least I stuck around for brains rather than asking for excess nasal hair.” I retort.

Note to self - before making mean remarks about your boss - check said boss is not standing right behind you. Luckily I am saved by one of our interviewees arriving. A rather scared looking young guy who seems shyer than I would expect a sales guy to be. Seconds later the other candidate turns up, a girl who seems quite fun and outgoing but laughs like Janice from friends.

Who do you think we should vote?

Man trouble and blind drunk interview techniques

Today has not been good. I should have stayed in bed.

Things that make a bad Tuesday:

• Running out of tea bags without caffeine I am neither pleasant nor useful)
  
• Falling over when getting off the bus
  
• Ripping stockings in said fall and having to spend £7 on new ones
  
• The fact that I made myself bleed in the fall
  
• The lack of sympathy from my workmates
  
• Ted looking at me and saying "You look TERRIBLE Kate."
  
• Jamie's new girlfriend

I know I shouldn't be jealous. We are just friends. Who flirt and text occasionally thats it. But he is being so annoying. If I hear one more word about his hot date tonight I might accidently spill tea on him.

I decide that revenge flirting is promptly needed. I consider calling Chris the sweet journalist. Then I remember my last attempt at flirting with him nearly lead to a restraining order.

I sigh - maybe this is a good thing I can stop having mixed feelings for a colleague and yet knowing I should not act on it. It will be a good thing. This is a good day. Then just when I perk up one the elastic in one of my stockings promptly snaps. Making a noise. While I am wearing a short skirt.

Yes having hosiery fall off your leg must be as bad as it gets...

"Katie?" Ted calls "Did I tell you that you need to give a presentation in the meeting on Friday?"

Kill me now...

Miracles can happen - Ted does something good!

I mentioned a few entries back that Jack was on probation. Well Jack has now found another job paying him 5k more and is buggering off at the end of the week. Nice one Jack!

In light of this Ted has been panicking about being a salesman down and is finally doing some serious interviewing. Between this and our planned office move happening next Friday work has been well and truly relegated

Ted has been interview various people to replace Jack and hearing his opinions is hilarious. The first "Young chap" he interviewed was "Very green, not at all what we need in a fast paced company."
"But I thought he was interviewing to work here." I respond
"Do you have listed on your CV under special skills being a complete smart arse Kate?" He says but with a grin.
"Better smart than dumb" I say.
Ted laughs. "I think I'm calling that one a draw Kate." He says.
"Spoken like a true loser." I tell him. I know I am pushing it but he is in a jolly mood as he has found two potentials so I think I can get away with what he calls "The banter"
I won't correct him and call it "the truth.

Ted has asked Jamie to come and help on the interview process but Jamie is a bit worried about losing all his sales. With Jack on the way out he still needs to hit his targets if he is going to buy us all a drink (He lost a bet with Rob)

Ted suggest that perhaps a good way of seeing if the potential candidate fits in is taking him and us to the pub after work one night. And buying all our drinks until 8pm

The man is a genius! First office/pub interview is tomorrow evening.

Here you are - sit next to me

So we are back to work - or at least some form of work. Sales calls are made, marketing letters are created, printers are kicked.

Everything with Jamie and Rob is back to normal or at least as normal as the pair of them ever get. They are closer than ever but they have started lots of new competitions. So far we have had the sensible who can get the most sales in that afternoon - an activity that Ted approves of greatly to who can fit the most scotch eggs in their mouth. That was pretty grim. There is talk of who can drink the most later on the week. That could be interesting especially as it is Ethans birthday tomorrow.

Ted meanwhile has spent the last few days making various new seating charts for downstairs with changes and amendments along the way. And absolutely nothing else.

"I've finally got a good seating plan." He tells me proudly. "What do you think."
"Very nice." I say unconvincingly while looking down at my work. I am totally swamped today and really don't have time for Ted.
Ted looks at me and says, "Come now Kate I want you to be 100% honest so I know everyone is happy."
I sigh, "You know it is never a good idea to ask me to be 100% honest Ted."
He looks irritated and snaps, "Just tell me what you think."
"Fine." I say. "I think this seriously took two days of work. It's a damn seating plan!"
I see his ears go a little red and him take a breathe.
"So you don't care where you sit then?"
"Not especially." I respond carelessly.
"Thats good." He says with an evil grin, "Because you and I are sharing a desk."

I can't believe it. Ted got me!

Do not crap where you eat or in my case work

So Rob and I are back to normal. It's hard to stay mad at him he is too annoyingly charming.

Things with Jamie are more difficult.
We had to work together today on creating a new sales brochure for him. I suggest a few ideas and he grunts. I ask his opinion and he monotones that whatever I think is fine.

This is not fun. After half an hour of working with a brick wall next to me I suggest I might get further doing this by myself. He mutters " you might prefer to ask Rob."

I glare at him, "Grow the hell up Jamie, there is nothing going on with me and him or me and you. I like men." Cheap shot I know but seriously...

He narrows his eyes at me
"Oh my apologies Kathryn."
I glare as him I hate being called Kathryn and he knows it. "No problem Gaymie."
This is the reason you shouldn't flirt with your workmates - it makes us act like children.

After we finish up I gather all the information up and stalk towards to lift. And promotly fall over into it. Jamie immediate dashes in with a concerned "Are you okay Katie?" and helps me up.
"I'm fine." I say blushing "Just clumsy."
I don't say anything for a moment and then look at him. He smiles shyly at me.
"So are we okay Kate?"
I smile hooray I finally found an advantage to my ability to fall over a spec of dust!
He grins. "Don't worry if I try and hit on you again I'lll wait until you are drunker."

Er is that a good thing?

I am sulking until you make me tea

(Sorry I meant to post this Monday but I am completely computer inept!)

It's Monday and my many reasons to be grumpy include:

• I overslept this morning. (worse than usual)
  
• I have mad hair seriously I look like the victim of a power surge. Must get a hair cut.
  
• I am still annoyed at two of my workmates for the events of Friday.
  
• Ted "hem heming" when I arrive and pointing at his watch. (Admitedly it is half nine and I am half an hour late.
  
• The office is still not switching the heating on and I am freezing.
  
• I think my pants show through this skirt.

Great.

I arrive and plan to make my know to both Rob and Jamie. Instead of a good morning I shot both of them my best evil stare.
"Morning Kate" Ethan says and I glare at him as well - oops
"Something in your eye?" He responds. I sulk.

Ted has been very busy today trying to decicde where we are all going to sit when we make the move downstairs. He mentions that he wants me to be in the hub of the sales team. I mutter that I hope I don't catch anything Rob sniggers and my inbox pings a second later.

"You still mad at me? I'll make you tea if you lighten up."

I reply
"Tea is a start"

He reponds,
"I'll put the kettle on - by the way can I be Butthead? I just don't feel like a Beavis."
I evil stare him again.

My email pings once more and says

"Open your top draw."
I do and find a huge bar of chocolate. I don't like chocolate but the thought is sweet.

He pings again with
"Forgiven."

I laugh.

The next email says
"Thank God. Your evils are seriously crap."

Hmmmmph

I have a very sore head....

Ouch my head hurts....maybe this post should be renamed reasons why trying to be nice is a bad idea.

Well I feel awful and have limited memory of last night. Note to self must learn to say no. I was tempted to call in sick today but decided to come in and face the music.

I arrive pale and wearing sunglasses (only ten minutes late so progress) and attempt to smile. If you are smiley you can't possibly be hung-over right?

Jamie keeps giving me funny looks making me paranoid, my hair is curlier than usual hair and I am makeup free. While I don’t wear makeup everyday I tend to skip if hung-over. Bad idea as I am looking suspiciously flushed today and I keep blushing under Jamie’s scrutiny.

“Late one last night Kate?” Jamie says accusingly.

I blush and stammer something noncommittal. Must get through this day must get through this day.

I make it to lunch without being sick or saying anything stupid. Mostly managed by not speaking though I answer the phone once with the wrong company name. I don’t think anyone noticed.

At lunch I go and get a huge coffee and look at my phone - I have a text from Rob saying “Thx for being so lovely last night”

Back in the office I smile at him in what I hope is a reassuring way butnon flirtatious way. I like that he trusts me I just wish I could remember more about what happened. I remember telling him something about my on/off (currently off) boyfriend which is embarrassing. Plus I am having weird flashbacks which makes me think he might have made a move.

At the end of the day the guys suggest coming out. I refuse. Well done Kate I think.

After work I get a text from Jamie saying: “What’s happening with u & Rob???”

I also get a text from Rob saying: “Are you and Jamie involved?”
Oh crap...I respond to both saying no.

I then get identical clearly drunk texts from them a few hours later saying "If you choose between me and Rob/Jamie which one? drink Monday? xxx”

Great I appear to have ended up as the prize in a male pissing competition.

I reply saying "Dear Beavis/Butthead - sleep it off"

It’s going to be a bad Monday.




eyecream.org

Workmates with girl trouble and too much tequilla

Time for the updates on last night and the biggest revelation - Rob has a sensitive side. Seriously - who knew?

In all seriousness poor Rob is going through a really hard time. It turns out his on off girlfriend is now off for good. Apparently Rob realised she was waiting for him to commit to something serious. Realising he didn't feel the same way he decided his only option was to call it off. I mentally melted at this - bad boy with a sensitive side - focus Kate you are here to listen and be sympathetic.

I encourage him to keep talking and after a few more drinks Rob looks distinctly teary. I feel horrible I never realised he was going through such a bad time and whenever I see anyone cry it always makes me cry. I give him a hug and tell him that he did the right thing. If it was me I would rather he was honest - at least it would let me be free to get over him and find someone else.

He sighs and says he wishes he could love her and he has really tried to feel more than he does but can't. He asks me if I think he is too shallow and admits he doesn't think he has ever been in love and is worried he won't ever be.

"I'm thirty two." He says. "I should be thinking about settling down and having children. Is there something wrong with me?"

I feel so bad for him and I give him a big hug. I tell him he will find the right person and he has done the right thing.

Rob laughs self consciously and thanks me for listening to him - "I can't talk to many people" He admits.

I smile and tell him anytime although in all honesty I am not sure how great I am being. Occasional hugs and arm patting is about all I have managed.

Rob suggests we get more drinks in and when i get back from the toilet I find him with two drinks and a shot of tequila each. I get the feeling my reward for listening to him is going to be one hell of a hangover tomorrow

Thaw

Fiona Robyn is going to blog her next novel, Thaw, starting on the 1st of March next year. The novel follows 32 year old Ruth’s diary over three months as she decides whether or not to carry on living.

To help spread the word she’s organising a Blogsplash, where blogs will publish the first page of Ruth’s diary simultaneously (and a link to the blog).

She’s aiming to get 1000 blogs involved – if you’d be interested in joining the splash, email her at fiona@fionarobyn.com or find out more information here.
http://www.fionarobyn.com/thawblogsplash.htm

Thank you!

Welcome to the basement goodbye sun...

So we are moving office....

Ted emerged today puffed up and asked for complete silence as he had something of the utmost importance to tell us. (I think it rather spoilt the effect that Andi had told me and Jamie yesterday.)

"We are all moving to the basement except accounts and Jay. This move will allow us to have more space and will bring sales and marketing closer." I frown I rather like my position far enough away from Ted that I don't feel the need to kill him yet....

As Andi made me and Jamie promise not to tell anyone (I didn't - he told Rob) and act surprised I let out a loud gasp
work
Ted shouts me a glare - "Enough of the sarcasm thank you Kathryn"

Oops I may have overdone that and since when does he call me Kathryn?
Oh right.

After the nightmare that was my fathers phone call on Mondays revealing my childish nickname of Cactus we started talking about our names. Me and Rob are both only ever called our full names when we have done something very bad. Apparently Ted while not participating in the conversation was listening. Oops

I have been worried about Rob this week - he hasn't been his normal self - even messing with my phone on Monday doesn't seem to have made him as smiley as it would usually. Rob could charm the birds from the trees usually so it is strange to see him looking gloomy.

I email him and ask if he is okay.

He replies saying no and would I come for a quick drink with him tonight as he could use a friendly ear and decent listener. He asks that I don't tell Jamie and it is just the two of us.

This seems so unlike him - I agree immediately and hope I can help.

At the end of the day Jamie asks me what I am doing and I reply that I am not sure. He asks if I will be around for a drink nd I say no. Unfortunately I am a terrible liar and I think my flaming cheeks are giving me away. Luckily he leaves - a bit huffily and once the coast is clear Rob and I head to the usual place.

Never give parents your work number

The first Monday since Jim finished. Sigh. Ted is officially in charge now and so far so bad

I arrive in the office (9:20am) and sneak inconspicuously towards my desk. If I tiptoe no one will notice I am late. Jamie rolls his eyes when he sees me.

Still I don't think Ted noticed. In fact he doesn't appear to be here, nor does Andi. "They are in a meeting with Jay." Rob says guessing what I was thinking. I hate it when he does that.
"What is the meeting about?" I ask
"Timekeeping." Rob says and then bursts out laughing.
"I hate you." I say blushing.

I go up and make tea for the group. It's my penance for being late.

When I get back to me desk Jack Ethan and Rob are crowded around it playing with me phone. It is now on loudspeaker and no one can seem to change this. Great.

At that point my phone rings - I shush the guys so I can sound professional on my call.

"Good Morning Small Anonymous Publishing company, Kate speaking" I say in my best posh voice
"Cactus! Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy Birthday dear Katie happy birthday to you!" Sings my dad down the phone.
Oh God I think I might die.
"Er thanks Dad." I say, "But it’s not my birthday today it's Emma's" (my sister)

Note to self - giving parents your work number is a bad idea.

Email truth or dare - inappropriate?

It's been a quiet afternoon.

Jim went home early (he's been doing that a lot since he quit - Jim I am the queen of headache excuses and I know you are faking) and Ted has been blustering through a series of phone calls with limited sucess. By limited I mean no sucess.

Jamie emails a few of us suggesting we liven things up with a few office games. The few us of silly enough to agree at now getting strange looks from the the rest of the office. Joe has looked over with a confused look more than once and May has sent me an email with the words "Behave Katie!" written in them.

May is lovely but a few years older than me and I seem to have tapped into her protective side. She told me yesterday she worries about me getting into trouble with the boys. I don't like to tell her I have been getting into trouble with various boys for several years now. Besides her intentions are good and I like her.

So far this afternoons games start tamely, pass the cough, secret Mexican wave calling Ted's phone surrepticiously from one of our mobiles and then hanging up when he answers, calling Ted's phone from the toilets and asking to order pizza, after the last one of those I saw the ears go purple again so suggested we moved on. It moved on to clothes swapping. This involves us all emailing a number between one and ten to Ethan who is acting as ref and the two closest numbers going to the toilets and coming back wearing an article of each others clothes.

So far I am wearing a bracelet of Andi's Jamies tie and one of Rob's socks. Rob is standing out the most in one of my stockings and Jamies shirt.

I really hope management can't read our email accounts and Ted stays so utterly oblivious...