Monday, 9 August 2010

New girl in the office and co-workers misery is my happiness

Sorry for the delay in posting. I hope this one is worth it.

So it’s Ambers first day – she starts at lunch time and I decide to start the day well by:
  • Being on time (I am only 15 mins late this counts as managed)
  • Wearing make up- (Sucess foundation covers the bruise from a fall)
  • Making sure hair was brushed and stocking free of runs – I can mend that bad first impression (Fail - stockings ripped and hair mad)
  • Stopping Fishy or Jamie from anything too appropriate. (Who am I kidding?)
  • Stopping Ted from calling her Sugar bird which he used on me this morning. (Just what?)
“Can I get anyone a tea?” I offer
Jamie and Fishy grunt yes, Ethan and Simon offer to help.
“Ted?” I ask,
“Alright then sugar bird” He responds.
I pause and glare.
“If you don’t want me to add something a lot less sweet to your tea I suggest rephrasing.” I say and stomp off.

“Seriously what is with him?” I fume to Simon, who laughs.
“You could occasionally ignore him rather than rising to it every single time you know...” He says.
“But he needs to learn how stupid he is.” I say “And without me reminding him how will he ever know?”
Simon laughs, “You are a nightmare.”
“Hey he should be thanking me.” I say, “If Amber was here she could sue – she's American remember.”
“She better not.” Says Fishy who has snuck up behind us “It will be loads worse when we finally have a fit woman in the office.”

This should not bother me because:
Fishy likes to annoy me I know this and I think the whole office does. Unfortunately it does. I try and think of a good comeback and fail so resort to spilling coffee on his desk. Unfortunately this isn’t quite the victory it should be as in the process I spill some on my white skirt. This looking well-groomed thing isn’t working out. I already ripped my stockings so I have my Mr Bump plasters displayed on my knees for all to see. Classy Kate...

At around ten to twelve I get a call from reception announcing Amber is here and I go up to see her.
She is as glamorous as ever and positively dripping Chanel. I remind myself that I don;t want or need designer stuff. Besides while I could never afford designer labels it is probably for the best. I'm already cross with myself for ruining a £20 skirt before lunchtime…

“Hey.” I say to her with a smile, “Remember me? I’m Kate welcome.”
She smiles and takes my hand. “I’m glad you're okay I felt really sorry for you.” She says.
I blush “All better now!” I say over brightly and concentrate very hard on walking down the steps.

I introduce her to the rest of the office and show her to her desk.

“And we are doing a special welcome to the team lunch for you at one” Ted booms at her.
Amber smiles, “Wow that’s great.” As I settle her into her desk she asks
“Where are we going? Somewhere nice? I’m like so dying to try the Ivy.”
I laugh, “They are slightly less generous than that here, generally it’s the pub down the road. It does nice food and we go there a lot after work which you are welcome to join. Best introduce you now."
“Ew” she exclaims loudly, I jump and hope she isn't talking about one of my injuries
“A pub?" She looks says looking horrified "I never go there -they're dirty and full of old men right? Totally gross. Plus they never do carb free stuff”
Hmmm this could be interesting I think. “Give me a second.” I say and grab Ted.

“Ted do you think we could do Pizza Express?” I ask quietly, "I think Amber would be more comfortable with somewhere she knows.”
Ted looks bemused, “Why?”
I sigh I have no argument so improvise.
“Ted,” I say confidentially, “It’s a girl thing…”
“Oh well then of course.” He says looking scared. I love this about Ted. Mention anything remotely female and he runs a mile.

I go back to Amber’s desk and hear her telling Fishy and Jamie how much she hates pubs and the beer culture. Both look like they have eaten lemons and Ethan is trying not to laugh.

I think she might be a very interesting choice...