Monday 9 August 2010

New girl in the office and co-workers misery is my happiness

Sorry for the delay in posting. I hope this one is worth it.

So it’s Ambers first day – she starts at lunch time and I decide to start the day well by:
  • Being on time (I am only 15 mins late this counts as managed)
  • Wearing make up- (Sucess foundation covers the bruise from a fall)
  • Making sure hair was brushed and stocking free of runs – I can mend that bad first impression (Fail - stockings ripped and hair mad)
  • Stopping Fishy or Jamie from anything too appropriate. (Who am I kidding?)
  • Stopping Ted from calling her Sugar bird which he used on me this morning. (Just what?)
“Can I get anyone a tea?” I offer
Jamie and Fishy grunt yes, Ethan and Simon offer to help.
“Ted?” I ask,
“Alright then sugar bird” He responds.
I pause and glare.
“If you don’t want me to add something a lot less sweet to your tea I suggest rephrasing.” I say and stomp off.

“Seriously what is with him?” I fume to Simon, who laughs.
“You could occasionally ignore him rather than rising to it every single time you know...” He says.
“But he needs to learn how stupid he is.” I say “And without me reminding him how will he ever know?”
Simon laughs, “You are a nightmare.”
“Hey he should be thanking me.” I say, “If Amber was here she could sue – she's American remember.”
“She better not.” Says Fishy who has snuck up behind us “It will be loads worse when we finally have a fit woman in the office.”

This should not bother me because:
Fishy likes to annoy me I know this and I think the whole office does. Unfortunately it does. I try and think of a good comeback and fail so resort to spilling coffee on his desk. Unfortunately this isn’t quite the victory it should be as in the process I spill some on my white skirt. This looking well-groomed thing isn’t working out. I already ripped my stockings so I have my Mr Bump plasters displayed on my knees for all to see. Classy Kate...

At around ten to twelve I get a call from reception announcing Amber is here and I go up to see her.
She is as glamorous as ever and positively dripping Chanel. I remind myself that I don;t want or need designer stuff. Besides while I could never afford designer labels it is probably for the best. I'm already cross with myself for ruining a £20 skirt before lunchtime…

“Hey.” I say to her with a smile, “Remember me? I’m Kate welcome.”
She smiles and takes my hand. “I’m glad you're okay I felt really sorry for you.” She says.
I blush “All better now!” I say over brightly and concentrate very hard on walking down the steps.

I introduce her to the rest of the office and show her to her desk.

“And we are doing a special welcome to the team lunch for you at one” Ted booms at her.
Amber smiles, “Wow that’s great.” As I settle her into her desk she asks
“Where are we going? Somewhere nice? I’m like so dying to try the Ivy.”
I laugh, “They are slightly less generous than that here, generally it’s the pub down the road. It does nice food and we go there a lot after work which you are welcome to join. Best introduce you now."
“Ew” she exclaims loudly, I jump and hope she isn't talking about one of my injuries
“A pub?" She looks says looking horrified "I never go there -they're dirty and full of old men right? Totally gross. Plus they never do carb free stuff”
Hmmm this could be interesting I think. “Give me a second.” I say and grab Ted.

“Ted do you think we could do Pizza Express?” I ask quietly, "I think Amber would be more comfortable with somewhere she knows.”
Ted looks bemused, “Why?”
I sigh I have no argument so improvise.
“Ted,” I say confidentially, “It’s a girl thing…”
“Oh well then of course.” He says looking scared. I love this about Ted. Mention anything remotely female and he runs a mile.

I go back to Amber’s desk and hear her telling Fishy and Jamie how much she hates pubs and the beer culture. Both look like they have eaten lemons and Ethan is trying not to laugh.

I think she might be a very interesting choice...

53 comments:

  1. Hates pubs? She's besmirching centuries of British culture. How dare she?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha thats what Fishy and Jamie said. There little faces were so indignant have never laughed as much in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL....cant wait to hear about her lol..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sounds like a little high maintenance and immature. Gonna be interesting..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sounds like a Miss Priss. Although to be fair there are no pubs in America.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think she is my new hero - just for putting Jamie and Fishy in their places like that...

    ReplyDelete
  7. It always makes me happy when I see you have uploaded another post. This has a lot of potential to get very interesting!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hahaha...u made a come bck with a gr8 story! m sure Amber will provide a lot of spice for the upcoming stories :P

    ReplyDelete
  9. JStar - watch this space she is proving interesting...

    Sarah - high mainteance for sure but I think she'll be an interesting edition

    Lifebeginsat30ty - She likes bars apparently..

    Happy Frog and I - Thanks I love your blog too!

    Sup! - I am actually glad they chose her - she is so different it should be a fun few weeks...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi, Thanks for visiting - what an interesting office you work in - enjoy it while it lasts. Completely different from the one in which I spent many a chaotic and meaningless year....

    Now? I am free as a bird (ancient OAP you see). Enjoy it while you can!

    Cheers Kate x. - Yeah! yet another one ...

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love it! All those men who made you hire the pretty girl got what they had coming to them. How can they possibly hope to spend some time with her after work, when she doesn't do pubs?
    This will be an ongoing victory for you, Kate.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  12. Girlfriend, I thought you'd died of misery. SO glad to see another post!

    I do look forward to seeing how this plays out. I love seeing beautiful pulled together women completely isolate themselves with their uppitiness. Should be quite entertaining. (that coming from a one-of-guys, sitting in a pub girl)

    Please, don't make us wait so long. PLEASE!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love her already. Really I do. Do you think she'll like pork scratchings?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh she's gonna blend in like oil to water! LOL! Lots of good fun with her I'm sure. Amber doesn't stand a chance!

    ReplyDelete
  15. How can you hate pubs? It's like, dark and full of beer. My kind of place!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Pubs good. Beer good. Fact

    ReplyDelete
  17. She’ll learn. Just needs a little help. Possibly

    my office gossip

    ReplyDelete
  18. Haaaa! Hates pubs? Hates beer culture? Hates me, LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This woman is a total fail on the humanity side. Hates pubs? Has she no soul??
    Can't wait for Ted to call her, "Sugar bird", he he he...

    ReplyDelete
  20. you're back again. yay.

    'it's a girl thing'...hilarious. quick thinking, knowing how men freak out over statements like that. haha

    ReplyDelete
  21. this certainly should be interesting... it seems like she might be grossed and horrified at the whole company in general... oh well it would make for even better tales of that crazy place you call the office.

    and good to have you back :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I love pubs. One of my favorite places to go.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The waiting was worth it for this one! Sounds like you and Amber might hit it off after all. I love that she has such distaste for pubs...just when Jamie and Fishy thought they had got one over on you. Underneath all the Chanel she might be a very interesting character.
    BTW...Mr Bump plasters are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Came across your blog today, love it! So funny! I will definitely come back to read more!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love it! you are such a clever girl...forget that she is dripping in Chanel I give it one week and the office will have outed her in the circle!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for stopping by. Just checked out your stuff. Witty. Will definitely keep a eye on you. Hope you do the same. Lots of juicy stuff to come on The Fall of Men.

    Xx - Eva
    http://eva-thefallofmen.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. Are you alive...we need more office confessions....

    ReplyDelete
  28. It must be a long life to live if you don't love a good pub and beer! Can't wait to see how she works out in the office. More confessions please :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Nonsense- she's an uptight pain in the ass, but she's hot. Ergo, the men will play along enough (balancing pushing her boundaries with accepting her weirdness) until they get in her pants. They'll bang her for a while, then drop her like a bad habit.

    I can see the future.

    ReplyDelete
  30. beer is good! pud is not cool. . .

    ReplyDelete
  31. Where arrrrrrrre you? I miss these updates Kate.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sweet, sweet revenge!

    I´m actually kind of gad you were awol, since I was too and this way I didn´t miss as much.

    Hope that Amber person isn´t all bad and I can´t wait to read what happend at lunch.
    How could she hate beer and pubs? They're not gross, they have character.

    O and check out my new blog. It's about cooking eatable things in a college kitchen.
    http://collegekitchencook.blogspot.com

    x Sophie

    ReplyDelete
  33. needmesomeconfessions8 October 2010 at 21:02

    What up biatch? can't give us any updates or what? You gonna just leave us hangin'?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Come back Kate! I need a good laugh and your stories never fail to make me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  35. nice and grate post .. thanksHello, like to share my link here because it's great bolg and great information for everyone very help full man good job .
    Thanks


    Mumbai Call Girls
    Escorts in Mumbai
    Goa escort
    Call Girls Goa

    ReplyDelete
  36. Akrti Bansal is going to bring in herself that she is if you want to know more about very closely so listen. I am a famous Delhi Escorts Girl who knew in the center of Delhi city which is well-known area in city. She is just 22 years old and able to meet clients with every require. She goes to a high level club but now you are believing so why she is in this diligence. She is not for to make much money, just here to love life very freely with high profile citizenries. She likes to meet new peoples every time without any hesitation because very open minded girl.
    Please See my Other Friends Website:

    Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escort service
    Independent Delhi Escorts
    Escorts In Delhi
    Delhi Escorts Agency
    Female Escorts In Delhi

    Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escort
    Delhi Escorts Service
    Independent Escorts In Delhi
    Delhi Escort Agency
    Delhi Escort Service
    Independent Escort In Delhi

    Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escort Service
    Escorts in Delhi
    Independent Delhi Escort
    Delhi Escort

    ReplyDelete
  37. I am Akshra Shah, sexy, beautiful 21 year old independent escorts in Delhi. I am very much delighted to describe all about me on my website and it’s a delight to me to offer my Delhi Escorts Service to you. I leave high character luxury escort causes to all my looked on clients in Delhi. Essentially, I am a college student in Delhi and engaging my graduation from a well known college. I came into erotic services last year and I felt this is an stakes service because it was always a ambition for me to meet high profile gentleman, man of affairs to whom I can show my love making desire.
    Kindly Visit My Friends Websites:
    Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escort service
    Delhi Escorts Agency
    Escorts In Delhi
    Delhi Escort
    Independent Delhi Escort
    Female Escort In Delhi

    Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escort Agency
    Escort In Delhi
    Female Escorts In Delhi
    Delhi Escort
    Independent Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escorts Service

    ReplyDelete
  38. My name is OJAL OBEROI . I am an exclusive and attractive lady, with a unique combination of taste, elegance, experience and genuine sensuality – all in one person.Mumbai Escorts Service I am the woman you will be proud of to have by your side. I am well-travelled, experienced and confident in virtually all social environments. Besides being competent in several languages, I will always be immaculately groomed and appropriately dressed for the occasion. Whenever possible I love to escape from the path of the formal occasion.

    Mumbai Escorts
    Mumbai Escort
    Mumbai Escort Agency
    Independent Mumbai Escorts
    Escorts In Mumbai
    Mumbai Escorts Service
    Escort In Mumbai
    Female Escort in Mumbai

    Pune Female Escorts
    Mumbai Escorts
    Mumbai Escort
    Mumbai Escort Agency
    Independent Mumbai Escorts
    Escorts In Mumbai
    Escorts Service In Mumbai
    Escort In Mumbai
    Female Escort in Mumbai

    ReplyDelete
  39. My name is roxxy Elite Companion for the affluent and discreet men of today. My flawless appearance and my charming intellect prove that beauty and intellect can very well be combined in an exquisite package.I have a beautiful and cute face and a delicate caramel skin. My feminine curves inspire to 101 things that man could do with ... Why should they not therefore be shared with selected gentlemen

    Mumbai Escorts
    Mumbai Escort
    Mumbai Escort Agency
    Independent Mumbai Escorts
    Escorts In Mumbai
    Female Escort in Mumbai

    Pune Escorts
    Mumbai Escorts
    Mumbai Escort
    Mumbai Escort Agency
    Independent Mumbai Escorts
    Escorts In Mumbai
    Mumbai Escorts Service
    Escort In Mumbai
    Female Escort in Mumbai

    ReplyDelete

  40. Goa Escorts
    Stressful days are troubling you? Then Goa entertainment is must in your life.
    Goa Escorts
    Want to build up your life to pleasant and fun loving then entertainment is must required in your life. And above all Goa is the best place to chill and for the entertaining fun. Goa is full fun package for everyone and other than this Goa tour will come under your pocket, it will be way cheaper than other city.
    Goa Escorts
    Cheering up yourself has become big task these days. Life is full of stress flutter restlessness and trauma. Every person is moving here and there on their own animated life to make money. And yet you have no time to relax your body and let off your tiredness. After working all day night you usually forget life’s backrest thing you forget how you used to enjoy your life. And then slowly you start getting frustrated of having trouble with your busy and dull scheduled life. So fun and entertainments in life are necessary these days to avoid your stress and traumas from your life. Dude what is use of earning and making so much of money if you are not satisfied from your life. So you should take little break from your scheduled life.
    Goa Escorts
    And after keeping everything in mind Goa is the best place for the vacation and to refresh your mood and your mind. Goa is appropriate for everything you need for an entertainment and for all those things you are interested in. There is not a single thing in Goa that you didn’t get. From adventures to fun you will get every existing thing related to entertainment over in Goa. Especially Goa is prevalent for night life parties, casinos, beaches and many more uncountable things. In the matter of company Goa is the place where you can hang out not only with your friends group but also with your family Goa is that level of awesome place to be.
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts
    Goa Escorts

    ReplyDelete
  41. HO Call +91 8585025915 Delhi Escort caters erotic escort services. Avail the best Delhi escort services with the best escorts in Delhi and Delhi call girls

    ReplyDelete
  42. We know you want be some the best Escort Service in Chandigarh with our VIP and HI profile Models. Just leave fake agency and expend a delightful moments together with a gorgeous girl.

    Chandigarh Escort Service
    Escort In Chandigarh
    Chandigarh Escort

    ReplyDelete
  43. LUDHIANA ESCORTS,CALL GIRLS LUDHIANA,ESCORT SERVICE LUDHIANA VIST HERE MY WIBSITE LUDHIANA COME ON BOY LUDHIANA CALL GIRLS CONT ME


    http://www.ikrakhan.in/
    http://www.babli-kumari.com/ludhiana-escorts.html

    ReplyDelete
  44. Ocenic erotic pleasure with Independent Escorts in Chennai
    Independent Escorts in Chennai

    ReplyDelete
  45. The biggest dream for every man in town is to have a sweet night experience with a girl of whole beauty in the world. It is therefore, commitment of Gurgaon call girls; to make your dream come true. We offer top-rated, incomparable and registered service to our clients.

    Call Girls in Mahipalpur
    Call Girls in Saket
    Call Girls in Nehru Place
    Model Escorts in Delhi
    VIP Escorts in Delhi
    Delhi Hot Call Girls

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hi! My name is Depika. I'm shocking high profile escorts in Delhi with an honest appeal to me and a characteristic attractive body. I keep keeping meeting more standards and new customers. Accessible to meet female or male customers, searching for the sake of entertainment and hot encounters. As should be obvious from my photographs I am a provocative Escort with common boobs, youthful with a lot of energy, and is liberal.

    Independent Escorts in Delhi
    Vip Escorts in Delhi
    VIP Escorts in Delhi
    VIP Escorts in Delhi
    High Profile Escorts in Delhi

    ReplyDelete
  47. Hi, I am a VIP escorts in Delhi. Youthful, sleek, and excellent, I have an ideal grin and bend figure, additionally, I offer a suggestive back rub for noblemen. I am knowledgeable with an agreeable character and is a fantastic buddy. Normally attractive and can visit you at your home or you can come to me! I'm remaining in a Tecom territory.

    Call Girls in Delhi
    Delhi Escorts
    VIP Escorts in Delhi
    Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escorts
    Independent Escorts in Delhi

    ReplyDelete
  48. I have a pretty face call Girls in Delhi, slim figure, and delectable ideal chest to touch off your energy. I am a sentimental individual by heart and adores celebrating with you.

    Female Escorts in Delhi
    High Profile Escorts in Delhi
    High Profile Escorts in Delhi
    Call Girls in Mahipalpur
    Call Girls in Delhi

    ReplyDelete
  49. Apparantly, dear, you arrnt a NDEr.
    Why? You wouldnt be so filled with
    spiteNjealousy at your co-worker.
    Learn from this.
    Turn your precious, wonderfull eyes
    to the skies to know where you go.
    GBY

    ReplyDelete