Thanks to Ted's current reign of terror we decide to set the world straight by drinking too much. We being me Ethan, Jamie, Simon and Fishy. Jamie and I are back on again but we are still keeping it secret. And we quickly decide the best way of relieving stress is by drinking a lot. All the boys drink beet except Fishy who only ever drinks wine. It gets to eight and we decided on another round including Ethan. This is usual in that Ethan is usually the sensible one.
"So anyone got any ideas of how to destroy Ted? Decapitation is fine" Ethan says. Poor Ethan has been working closely with Ted on one of our new launches. We just signed a new very commercial client which should be great but Ted has decided to "help" Ethan with it. As a consequence Ethan has spent much of the day trying not to loose his cool.
"Right TEAM sales drinks?" Simon asks
We all shout agreement.
"I thought you weren't sales Kate?" Fishy says snidely.
I laugh, "If someone is buying drinks I am."
"Is someone going to help me carry theses?" Simon calls,
I go and help him and we decide to work on our best Ted impressions. It involves saying golly gosh a lot.
I give Fishy and Ethan their drinks and grab a seat next to Jamie. Simon comes and joins us with the remaining drinks.
"Here you go dolly" he says to me in the best Ted voice,
"Will you two just get a room already" Fishy says. I cringe slightly. Jamie and I are touching arms under the table and I can feel him tense up.
Simon and I both blush
"We were just doing Ted impressions." I say, "He keeps calling me dolly at the moment." (It's true and it is driving me mad)
"And you are really going to tell me you both don't fancy each other?" Fishy says.
I glance at Simon and I think it is safe to say we both resemble beetroots. Not a look I recommend incidentally
"Leave them alone Fishy." Ethan says,
"I think they should answer - if there is a little office romance brewing." Jamie says snidely.
"Seriously can we please get over this?" I ask
"You didn't answer the question." Jamie says glaring.
There is an awkward silence for a moment.
"So if Ted had Megan Fox's body would you go there?" Ethan asks.
I smile at him across the table and mouth "thank you"
"I'm going for a cigarette." Jamie says moodily.
"Wait up mate I'll join." says Simon running after him.
Ethan Fishy and I sit in awkward silence for a moment.
"Tenner says one of them throws a punch." Fishy smirks,
"Shut up!" I snap.
"You really enjoy having the men fighting over you." Fishy carries on, "Can't say I see it myself."
"Leave it." Ethan says.
"I like a woman with elegance and grace," he says, "Not some clumsy little bit-"
I stand up and empty his full glass of wine into his crotch.
"Damn if only I wasn't such a clumsy little bitch" I glare, "I'm going home."
I storm out and feel someone tap me on the shoulder.
"What?!" I shout expecting Fishy. It is Ethan - oops
"Sorry Ethan. I think my night has peaked." I say tearfully.
He gives me a hug,. "Ignore him, I'll to have a word - I'll sort it."
I get home to find three texts
Number 1 from Simon
Sorry Fishy was an arse tonight, don't get upset by him the rest of us love you. xx
Number 2 from Ethan
I spoke to him it'll be okay - chin up kid
Number 3 from Jamie
Do you like Simon more than me?
Why can't life be simple?
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I love Jamie as much as it's possible to love another man without being gay.
ReplyDelete*Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*
Well done for emptying Fishy's own glass of wine over him, good skills. Sorry to hear life is a bit tricky at the moment, but it does make your blog very good reading if that helps?
ReplyDeleteI think you love him a little too much Fishy.....
ReplyDeleteThanks Happy Frog - love life issues are never fun.
Kate xx
That's what booze is for - unsimplifying life.
ReplyDeleteOr simplifying the unsimplifiable.
Whatever. That's why we love drinking.
*hic*
Ooh, do you? 0_0
ReplyDeleteI can't decide if Jaime has cajones for saying that or is a wimp. *ponders*
Why is Fishy such a dick? I think he's got the secret hots for you as well ;)
Good on you for Fishy!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lifebegins I cant make my mind up either..
sounds a little bit girly to me
Lottie x
Touching under the table is So Much Fun!
ReplyDeleteSecretia
I've missed a few posts because of various unavoidable things. In a way, it's more exciting because so much seems to have happened!
ReplyDeleteThat Jaime needs to be smacked, little brat. Oh the office drama! Love it!
ReplyDeleteI wish life was more simple but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon unfortunately :/
ReplyDeleteThanks for the entertaining post!
Ugh, why is Jamie being such a baby?? Simon sounds like a sweetheart though...
ReplyDeleteGood luck with these boys!
I CANNOT believe you wasted his wine. You should have slugged it back and then kicked him in the crotch.
ReplyDeletenext time pour some hot coffee on fishy. somebody should arrange to have fishy work with ted all the time. jamie is a little insecure eh?
ReplyDeleteAh, the perks of being a cute girl in the company of dudes.. wait..
ReplyDeleteUh oh your life has just become an all out soap opera, which considering they last about 30 years might night be a bad thing for the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya sister but I like to have all the men in the office fight over me so I can act like I am so great!
ReplyDeleteI like Simon more than Jamie. Jamie is being a jealous little kid - so not sexy! Maybe you should tell him to stop being so daft or you'll dump him!
ReplyDeleteKate x
http://search-for-the-perfect10.blogspot.com
I think you are so on spot I'll be sure and try and make that clear in my office even thought we don't have a Jamie or a Simon
ReplyDeleteIf I come over to London for a holiday, I will slap Fishy for you and kick him in the balls, ok? Since I'm never gonna see him again anyway.
ReplyDeleteIt does sound like Jamie is being a bit of a baby asking you if you like Simon more than him. But then maybe he really does want to know so that he doesn't go and ruin things for the two of you if you two do like each other. And I agree with 30ty, guys are mean to you when they like you, means Fishy has the hots for you.
Either that or Fishy is jealous that Simon and Jamie (and even Ethan) are paying attention to you and not to him. 0_0
We really need to get out more at work. We are so dull by comparison.
ReplyDeleteBeet?
ReplyDeleteOMGosh! How do you get yourself in these predicaments?!? Jamie is such a jealous guy! How do you handle that? It's just gonna keep getting worse. Good luck with that, Kate!
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard one good thing from Fishy in any of your posts. He sounds like a nasty human being!
ReplyDeleteWhat did you say to Jamie?
From what I've learned from my own secret relationship is that they're bad. I vote you let it out in the open.
Good luck!
Everyone loves you Kate!! Fishy loves you too he just likes acting like a child to show it :)
ReplyDeleteHi Fishy!
I enjoy your blog hugely. One day you ought to write a romance novel and make a fortune. Maybe you could sell it to some produced at Pine wood studios or something and who knows what after that. God bless you my friend.
ReplyDeletehaha love the comment with wine. Fishy sucks... but everyone else loves you! Including me!
ReplyDeleteTed working closely with everyone when he doesn't need to? Maybe the senior partners have their eye on him and he needs to act more in charge?
ReplyDeleteJamie sounds like a girl with his insecurities. Did you ever describe what he looks like cause if you did I missed that post.
I reckon you should just take a gun to the office and initiate a cull.
ReplyDeletehttp://theintermittentsprocket.blogspot.com/
you have the most rockin adventures...
ReplyDeleteI swear it sounds like a new tv program to me....
emptying your glass of wine onto fishy's crotch was a true elegant and graceful move. so how did you answer jamie?
ReplyDeleteLife is never simple for the ladies because we men are all so selfishly insecure.
ReplyDeleteEthan's a good bloke though, isn't he?
Hi Kate although I am very busy at the moment I do like reading your blog! Please visit mine there is a surprise for you
ReplyDeletexx Lorenza
I think Fishy loves you , Kate.
ReplyDeleteBut well done for emmpting Fishy's own glass of wine over him.
Betty xx
Alcohol is what got us through our sales careers...
ReplyDeletewow great post
ReplyDeleteKeep posting stuff like this i really like it.
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