So January started off cold and snowy. Me being me I managed to fall over and sprain my wrist which has been making work harder and me grumpy. Ted has used the time of Christmas to get fatter and apparently stupider and Rob is using his last few weeks in the office to generally cause trouble. Welcome to Publishing Office 2010
Ted should not drink coffee. Simon made a tea round earlier after I mentioned dying with a caffeine shortage but being to injured to make it myself. I figure there have to be some benefits to clumsiness. Unfortunately the coffee seems to be making Ted bounce around like... well like a slightly over weight micro manager type on a trampoline to be honest. Because Ted needs us all need to prepare for review week. This just means we meet with Ted and he evaluates us and tells us if we are getting a pay rise.Must be nice to Ted Kate....
"Right TEAM SALES" Announces Ted with a big clipboard with questionnaires as he hands them around." "You all need to remember the review is about showcasing your achievements and using them for the benefit of the company. You all need to be selling yourselves. SELL SELL SELL!"
I scowl, "Can I just sell you instead." I say "I am sure someone must want you.... somewhere."
Ted ignores me, "These forms need to be completed by ALL of you by tomorrow morning without fail. Is that clear?" He demands
I glare, "Some of us only have one working hand." I say.
Fishy smirks, "I am sure one of the boys here would be more than willing to help you out Katie." He says, "Simon? Rob?"
I glare, "Only my friends are allowed to call me Katie."
Childish I know but he is so annoying...
"Er Ted?" Rob says, "Why have you given me one of these I leave in less than two weeks."
Ted beams, "I wouldn't want you to miss out Rob, it is an important part of your growth."
Rob starts, "You're joking right?"
Ted looks hurt, "No every employee must complete this form and you are still my employee for another ten working days."
Rob laughs, "Then why the hell is this Fishy in my chair?"
"Just do it." Ted snaps in his best "I'm the boss and super important voice."
Fine I'll fill this out in great detail." Rob says. "You'll love it Teduardo. So anyone coming to the pub to help me?"
Now this sounds like fun...
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Welcome back Kate :)
ReplyDeleteGlad to see your back, not good about the wrist though!!!!
ReplyDeleteLoving it! Love the fact that you telling yourself to be nice to him and within 60 seconds you make a comment! hahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteI wait for your posts, thanks for making my day!
Welcome back, and Happy New Year! :D
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping you get a raise and manage to steer clear of any bar "incidents." How's revenge on Fishy coming? :)
Our reviews are not nearly as exciting. They are, according to HR, 'not tied to our raises in any way.'
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your brainstorming session.
Ohhh good luck with the reviews. I think Ted should watch out for Rob. Yikes!! I hope your wrist feels better dear!
ReplyDelete'Then why is Fishy in my chair?' That line made me laugh out loud. Why indeed?
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, and sorry about the wrist injury. I have tendonitis in both wrists, so I know how much these injuries suck.
ReplyDeleteI wish I worked in a place where drinking at lunch was acceptable. I did once, on my internship in NYC, and it was a whole lot of fun.
-Joshua
Good luck with that one Kate. I hate writing reviews. You should steal Fishy's paper and write nasty things on it...heheh!
ReplyDeleteHope your wrist gets better soon!
I always love your come-backs and glares. The suggestion about selling Ted to someone, somewhere..that was great.
ReplyDeleteHope it gets better for you in 2010.
Robyn
Recently fatter bosses are a real nuisance in the Winter. They are grumpy and nasty when trying to diet. Be careful.
ReplyDeleteSecretia
Hey Kate - I've nominated you for 'best humourous blog' at the 2010 weblog awards www.2010.bloggies.com - good luck!
ReplyDeleteKitty x
i'd love to know what rob would fill in haha!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see what 2010 brings you and your co-workers! Always a chuckle to be found here!
ReplyDeleteNominated you for the tenth annual weblog awards, most humourous blog. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year Kate --
ReplyDeleteHope you get a raise without having to get your nose too brown. <3
scriptwriter@thescriptwriter.co.uk
ReplyDeleteEmail me for my lovely children's novel ;-)
Ohhhh reviews written in a pub fueled by booze. Those could be very interesting.
ReplyDeleteI've just started reading your blog. Haha! It's hilarious! It kind of reminds me of a few people I work with. Ted sounds like the bumbling boss from hell. :-)
ReplyDeleteConsider me a new follower!
http://search-for-the-perfect10.blogspot.com
can't wait to see the filled out form of yours.
ReplyDeletePost some of the answers up, go on.
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the lack of answers looong story to be explained in next post but managed to fall over again! AAAAAH I will answer you all soon
Kate xx
Really funny post! Reminds me of my office... Ha,ha.
ReplyDeleteAion/iephotography/Rebecca Knight - Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteSelina A.G aka Nerdy - I know I never learn
Kristy = I wish ours weren't tied to pay I really need money!
Melanie's Randomness - Thanks - Rob is off now!
Fran Hill - I just wish it had been me being funny not Rob
Joshua -Thanks. The bosses don;t like our lunchtime drinking they just ignore it!
Kato - I like it! Good calll
ReplyDeleteRawknRobynsGoneBlogWild -Thanks. I don't think Ted likes them tho!
Secretia - I know diets make everyone grumpy. I say ditch them
Kitty Moore - Wow thanks Kitty
jo - I know Rob is trouble
My name is PJ - Me either!
Tina -Thanks Tina - I will check that out later :)
Jenno - No danger there I am terrible at sucking up
Dom Carver - er thanks but...no
Sparkless - I know if only we didn't need the money
Kate - Thanks - good name by the way
Sarah - I have to behave for mine. Sigh.
Tuesday Kid - I am posting the review up - maybe I'll bug myself
Beautiful but Grumpy - Poor you if you have a boss like mine too!