Never give parents your work number

The first Monday since Jim finished. Sigh. Ted is officially in charge now and so far so bad

I arrive in the office (9:20am) and sneak inconspicuously towards my desk. If I tiptoe no one will notice I am late. Jamie rolls his eyes when he sees me.

Still I don't think Ted noticed. In fact he doesn't appear to be here, nor does Andi. "They are in a meeting with Jay." Rob says guessing what I was thinking. I hate it when he does that.
"What is the meeting about?" I ask
"Timekeeping." Rob says and then bursts out laughing.
"I hate you." I say blushing.

I go up and make tea for the group. It's my penance for being late.

When I get back to me desk Jack Ethan and Rob are crowded around it playing with me phone. It is now on loudspeaker and no one can seem to change this. Great.

At that point my phone rings - I shush the guys so I can sound professional on my call.

"Good Morning Small Anonymous Publishing company, Kate speaking" I say in my best posh voice
"Cactus! Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy Birthday dear Katie happy birthday to you!" Sings my dad down the phone.
Oh God I think I might die.
"Er thanks Dad." I say, "But it’s not my birthday today it's Emma's" (my sister)

Note to self - giving parents your work number is a bad idea.

We take pity

I am having trouble typing this but I actually feel a bit sorry for Ted.

After his list of rules the mood in the office which since my little addition now has the following additions:

• Employees must bow when entering the room
  
• Smiling will not be tolerated
  
• Anyone found with chocolates will have to write fifty lines
  
• A school uniform must be worn at all times
  
• An office rabbit will be introduced

I am sure the last one was Rob. I hate him

I think it is safe to say the rules won't be enforced and Ted is looking glum despite his incredibly irritating tendencies I feel sorry for him. I think deep down there might be a nice person struggling to get out.

I chat to Jamie to see what he thinks. I tell him I feel bad for Ted and he openly laughs at me,
"Katie you would feel bad for a mass murderer if you saw them looking upset."
"But I feel bad for him." I protest. "Please? Please?"

Jamie rolls his eyes at me but smiles and even manages to get Rob on board. They decide to take Ted to the pub that evening and have a chat – just to try and help him fit in. I think this is a good idea and demand a full update in the morning. Jamie texts me at seven and says "we're still there - Ted is ok when you get him away from Jay"
I text back:
"See I was right! Ha! Remember Ted is still the boss don't not drink too much x"

He responds a few hours later with:
“Ted and beer and rob and me drinming. More fun with you there too xxx”

I feel partially flattered and partially worried. I hope he isn’t saying anything incriminating. My phone rings again at ten to midnight and I hastily cancel the call. I get a text saying “thinking of you Katie xxx”

Must not flirt with workmates. Must not!

I don't reply. Oh God tomorrow could be interesting...