The last few days seem to have been manic - don't faint but we have all had to work - shock horror.
Early in April there is a big award ceremony for a certain area in publishing and we are hosting this. As far as publishing awards go there are two types - fun ones where you meet interesting people and corporate ones. Ours is corporate the whole point of it is to make lots of money and is so boring it's a struggle doze off - on the plus side we get given a five star meal at a very posh hotel in London and endless champagne. However in the build up we are all feeling overworked and underpaid.
Jay has been wondering around in a kind of management stupor because finally he has something that even he can't manage to screw up - food tasting.
Ted is barking orders at us all and becoming quite alarmingly red in the face. Ethan who is the mature and sensible one actually stormed out the office yesterday after Ted told him to "Buck up your ideas young man." when he tried to leave on time for his wife's birthday. Tensions are running high in general and Jamie and I are rather pointedly not speaking to each other to Fishy's obvious joy.
"Are you two looking forward to interviewing later" He smirks
Jamie grunts and I scowl at him.
"Now now now now now thats not the attitude I want from my happy little TEAM." Pipes Ted, "I want enthusiasm - you two need to say today I WILL find the perfect candidate."
Simon coughs clearly trying not to laugh, Ethan rolls his eyes and Jamie continues to glare. I shrug disinterestedly.
"Maybe they should form a power circle." Fishy suggest an evil glint in his eye, "Ted was saying in the past he has used holding hands in a circle to motivate."
"Quite right." Ted interrupts looking delighted - people listening to anything he says is pretty rare.
"Good plan Fishy - TEAM on your feet. We need to up the energy in this room TEAM!" I groan.
"I think they need to get more involved." A clearly amused Fishy says,
"Good plan.," Says Ted, "Right Everyone hold hands and say-"
"I'm not holding hands with him." I say pointing at Fishy, "I don't know where he's been."
"I wouldn't want to hold hands with you for the same reason.," He retorts "Oh actually I know where you've been"
"Isn't this waste of time supposed to be about team building." Ethan says wearily.
"Yes so enough bickering children." Ted booms, "All take hands."
We all relutantly give in.
"Repeat with me - today I will be my best. I will support my colleagues and I will sell sell sell."
I consider making a sarcastic remark but decide I haven't the energy. I replace sell sell sell with market market market though just to annoy Ted a bit.
"Morning all what are we up to?" Comes a nasal and constipated voice. Great Jay has decided to venture to the commoners.
"Just motivating the happy worker bees." Ted says oblivious to the sea of scowls.
"Good good good. Well I need to volunteer to come to the Pretentious Hotel with me and help me with the food tasting. How about you Katie?"
"I have a press release to get out and then we are interviewing I am afraid." I say trying to sound sincere. Given the choice of spending time with Jay and having my teeth pulled out I am not sure which I'd prefer.
Jay looks surprised - clearly I have passed up a lifetime opportunity, "Well how about our young junior sales boy." he says nodding at Simon, "Learn from a master."
Simon blushes but nods and gathers his things up clearly uncomfortable.
"You can't expect this kind of treat every working day mind." Jay warns.
Simon gives a forced smile, "See you later."
After a few hours when Simon still has not returned I get a text from him saying, "He is making me hold plates while he tastes things and I had to blind fold him. I would rather be holding Ted's hand."
I laugh and message it to Ethan who smiles.
"Haven't you guys better be getting the interview room ready. Fishy says to me and Jamie "I am sure you will need to talk beforehand."
I reluctantly follow him into the meeting room where we sit in silence for a few minutes
"So are we going to talk at all."
"Okay" I say. "I don't think we should see each other any more."
Unfortunately at this point Fishy arrives saying "Your interviewee has arrived." And I have a nasty feeling he heard me.
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
Dollys drinking and soaking
Thanks to Ted's current reign of terror we decide to set the world straight by drinking too much. We being me Ethan, Jamie, Simon and Fishy. Jamie and I are back on again but we are still keeping it secret. And we quickly decide the best way of relieving stress is by drinking a lot. All the boys drink beet except Fishy who only ever drinks wine. It gets to eight and we decided on another round including Ethan. This is usual in that Ethan is usually the sensible one.
"So anyone got any ideas of how to destroy Ted? Decapitation is fine" Ethan says. Poor Ethan has been working closely with Ted on one of our new launches. We just signed a new very commercial client which should be great but Ted has decided to "help" Ethan with it. As a consequence Ethan has spent much of the day trying not to loose his cool.
"Right TEAM sales drinks?" Simon asks
We all shout agreement.
"I thought you weren't sales Kate?" Fishy says snidely.
I laugh, "If someone is buying drinks I am."
"Is someone going to help me carry theses?" Simon calls,
I go and help him and we decide to work on our best Ted impressions. It involves saying golly gosh a lot.
I give Fishy and Ethan their drinks and grab a seat next to Jamie. Simon comes and joins us with the remaining drinks.
"Here you go dolly" he says to me in the best Ted voice,
"Will you two just get a room already" Fishy says. I cringe slightly. Jamie and I are touching arms under the table and I can feel him tense up.
Simon and I both blush
"We were just doing Ted impressions." I say, "He keeps calling me dolly at the moment." (It's true and it is driving me mad)
"And you are really going to tell me you both don't fancy each other?" Fishy says.
I glance at Simon and I think it is safe to say we both resemble beetroots. Not a look I recommend incidentally
"Leave them alone Fishy." Ethan says,
"I think they should answer - if there is a little office romance brewing." Jamie says snidely.
"Seriously can we please get over this?" I ask
"You didn't answer the question." Jamie says glaring.
There is an awkward silence for a moment.
"So if Ted had Megan Fox's body would you go there?" Ethan asks.
I smile at him across the table and mouth "thank you"
"I'm going for a cigarette." Jamie says moodily.
"Wait up mate I'll join." says Simon running after him.
Ethan Fishy and I sit in awkward silence for a moment.
"Tenner says one of them throws a punch." Fishy smirks,
"Shut up!" I snap.
"You really enjoy having the men fighting over you." Fishy carries on, "Can't say I see it myself."
"Leave it." Ethan says.
"I like a woman with elegance and grace," he says, "Not some clumsy little bit-"
I stand up and empty his full glass of wine into his crotch.
"Damn if only I wasn't such a clumsy little bitch" I glare, "I'm going home."
I storm out and feel someone tap me on the shoulder.
"What?!" I shout expecting Fishy. It is Ethan - oops
"Sorry Ethan. I think my night has peaked." I say tearfully.
He gives me a hug,. "Ignore him, I'll to have a word - I'll sort it."
I get home to find three texts
Number 1 from Simon
Sorry Fishy was an arse tonight, don't get upset by him the rest of us love you. xx
Number 2 from Ethan
I spoke to him it'll be okay - chin up kid
Number 3 from Jamie
Do you like Simon more than me?
Why can't life be simple?
"So anyone got any ideas of how to destroy Ted? Decapitation is fine" Ethan says. Poor Ethan has been working closely with Ted on one of our new launches. We just signed a new very commercial client which should be great but Ted has decided to "help" Ethan with it. As a consequence Ethan has spent much of the day trying not to loose his cool.
"Right TEAM sales drinks?" Simon asks
We all shout agreement.
"I thought you weren't sales Kate?" Fishy says snidely.
I laugh, "If someone is buying drinks I am."
"Is someone going to help me carry theses?" Simon calls,
I go and help him and we decide to work on our best Ted impressions. It involves saying golly gosh a lot.
I give Fishy and Ethan their drinks and grab a seat next to Jamie. Simon comes and joins us with the remaining drinks.
"Here you go dolly" he says to me in the best Ted voice,
"Will you two just get a room already" Fishy says. I cringe slightly. Jamie and I are touching arms under the table and I can feel him tense up.
Simon and I both blush
"We were just doing Ted impressions." I say, "He keeps calling me dolly at the moment." (It's true and it is driving me mad)
"And you are really going to tell me you both don't fancy each other?" Fishy says.
I glance at Simon and I think it is safe to say we both resemble beetroots. Not a look I recommend incidentally
"Leave them alone Fishy." Ethan says,
"I think they should answer - if there is a little office romance brewing." Jamie says snidely.
"Seriously can we please get over this?" I ask
"You didn't answer the question." Jamie says glaring.
There is an awkward silence for a moment.
"So if Ted had Megan Fox's body would you go there?" Ethan asks.
I smile at him across the table and mouth "thank you"
"I'm going for a cigarette." Jamie says moodily.
"Wait up mate I'll join." says Simon running after him.
Ethan Fishy and I sit in awkward silence for a moment.
"Tenner says one of them throws a punch." Fishy smirks,
"Shut up!" I snap.
"You really enjoy having the men fighting over you." Fishy carries on, "Can't say I see it myself."
"Leave it." Ethan says.
"I like a woman with elegance and grace," he says, "Not some clumsy little bit-"
I stand up and empty his full glass of wine into his crotch.
"Damn if only I wasn't such a clumsy little bitch" I glare, "I'm going home."
I storm out and feel someone tap me on the shoulder.
"What?!" I shout expecting Fishy. It is Ethan - oops
"Sorry Ethan. I think my night has peaked." I say tearfully.
He gives me a hug,. "Ignore him, I'll to have a word - I'll sort it."
I get home to find three texts
Number 1 from Simon
Sorry Fishy was an arse tonight, don't get upset by him the rest of us love you. xx
Number 2 from Ethan
I spoke to him it'll be okay - chin up kid
Number 3 from Jamie
Do you like Simon more than me?
Why can't life be simple?
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
The boss needs to know everything, office fights
More and more interviews I swear I can’t even seem to hear the answers any more. Amazing the number of responses you get from an advert in the Guardian, some of them from the certifiably insane and some just desperate. Apparently the lure of publishing is such that people are queuing up to work with Ted and earn 18K a year.
Ted has also decided this week that he wants to get more involved in all of our day to day tasks.
“I want to know what you are all doing at all times!” He announced with the air of the management gone mad with power. Or maybe it is lack of sales, poor Ted hasn’t managed to sell anything in weeks.
“So Katie what is your day today going to consist of?” he asks.
I sigh, “Well seeing as yesterday Jay told me you have agreed a new book client I am going to spend most of the day working on a promotional plan. The rest of the day is wondering how the hell I am going to fit in this plan with only a month notice.”
“We don’t have defeatist talk here.” He responds. “I want an hourly status update kiddo." I glare. kiddo?
"Simon who are you calling today?" He carried on oblivious to my death glare.
“How about I just email you my sales leads?” Simon asks.
“No talk me through it. As a TEAM we all need to know what everyone is doing.”
Simon sighs and lists his clients.
“Is that all your calls today?” Ted demands his eyes possessed looking.
“I was also going to call my mother and wish her a happy birthday.” Simon admits, “But I thought you wouldn’t care about that.”
Ted goes around the room until Ethan finally tells him, “I could take you through my list of sales prospects or I could actually call them and make some money. Your call.”
Ethan losing his temper is rare and this shuts everyone up for a while
Ted leaves to make tea and we all exchange looks,
“What the hells gotten into him?” I ask.
“He thinks the atmosphere here is unprofessional.” Fishy replies smugly
“For God sake.” Ethan says
“I don’t blame him.” Fishy says, “You lot are mad”
“Funny how he asked you too considering you are so much better than us.” I retort.
“Cut it out you two.” Ethan says. “I have a meeting with him this afternoon I’ll have a word then. Kate, Jamie get someone hired. I think that will calm him down.”
“Can we go and talk about our next interviews?” Jamie asks.
I sigh and follow him into the meeting room.
“Are you not talking to me?” He asks
“No this is all psychic communication – spooky.” I say
He glares, “Mature really mature.”
“Well without meaning to sound even more immature you started it.” I say.
He laughs, “So what are the chances of kissing and making up?” he says.
Hmmm bad idea?
Ted has also decided this week that he wants to get more involved in all of our day to day tasks.
“I want to know what you are all doing at all times!” He announced with the air of the management gone mad with power. Or maybe it is lack of sales, poor Ted hasn’t managed to sell anything in weeks.
“So Katie what is your day today going to consist of?” he asks.
I sigh, “Well seeing as yesterday Jay told me you have agreed a new book client I am going to spend most of the day working on a promotional plan. The rest of the day is wondering how the hell I am going to fit in this plan with only a month notice.”
“We don’t have defeatist talk here.” He responds. “I want an hourly status update kiddo." I glare. kiddo?
"Simon who are you calling today?" He carried on oblivious to my death glare.
“How about I just email you my sales leads?” Simon asks.
“No talk me through it. As a TEAM we all need to know what everyone is doing.”
Simon sighs and lists his clients.
“Is that all your calls today?” Ted demands his eyes possessed looking.
“I was also going to call my mother and wish her a happy birthday.” Simon admits, “But I thought you wouldn’t care about that.”
Ted goes around the room until Ethan finally tells him, “I could take you through my list of sales prospects or I could actually call them and make some money. Your call.”
Ethan losing his temper is rare and this shuts everyone up for a while
Ted leaves to make tea and we all exchange looks,
“What the hells gotten into him?” I ask.
“He thinks the atmosphere here is unprofessional.” Fishy replies smugly
“For God sake.” Ethan says
“I don’t blame him.” Fishy says, “You lot are mad”
“Funny how he asked you too considering you are so much better than us.” I retort.
“Cut it out you two.” Ethan says. “I have a meeting with him this afternoon I’ll have a word then. Kate, Jamie get someone hired. I think that will calm him down.”
“Can we go and talk about our next interviews?” Jamie asks.
I sigh and follow him into the meeting room.
“Are you not talking to me?” He asks
“No this is all psychic communication – spooky.” I say
He glares, “Mature really mature.”
“Well without meaning to sound even more immature you started it.” I say.
He laughs, “So what are the chances of kissing and making up?” he says.
Hmmm bad idea?
Friday, 26 February 2010
The trouble with office romances and Ted gets fit?
Ah playing in the company sandbox. Never a good plan. As my friend Jamie is funny sweet and a great friend. Unfortunately as a more than friend, he is jealous, texts me all the time, destroyed a nice bra from La Senza. (I like pretty underwear so am having trouble forgiving.)and seems to spoent every hour trying to convince me to sleep with him. Which considering I have heard him brag about conquests in the pub feels like a bad idea...who said romance was dead?
I arrive to work and yes I am late but ted has gone on a new get fit routine. I have a theory his wife is forcing him so every morning Ted arrives at 8am changes into jogging gear, goes for a run in Green Park and comes in late and stinky holding a bacon sandwich. Oh Ted.
So I arrive at half nine and Ted doesn't even know - score.
"Afternoon" Fishy calls snidely.
I ignore him and move with dignity towards my desk. Unfortunately I managed to knock a huge pile of files over. Damn. I kneel over to pick them up.
"What are you wearing on your knees Kate?" Ethan asks.
"My plasters?" I say confused.
"You have Cinderella plasters?" Fishy says, "Are you three?"
I blush "Simon got them for me after my concussion."
"With strict instructions to stop needing them every week." Simon laughs.
"You'll be jealous if you cut yourself." I say to Fishy.
"Why because he can't look like an idiot too?" Jamie says shooting me a dirty look before storming out. I sigh.
"What is up with him at the moment?" Ethan asks.
"I think I've annoyed him." Simon says looking worried, "He's been funny with me for a while."
"It could be Kate rejecting all the cute girls from the interview." Fishy says.
I look up, "What are you on about Fishy, you're making even less sense than usual."
Fishy smiles, "Jamie told me whenever a pretty girl goes along you reject her. Jealous much?"
"Are you high?" I say.
I think back to the interviews we had two attractive girls one who said she would only take the job for a salary of 30K (We have 18K to offer.) and one who I really liked up until the end of her interview.
"Why did you leave your last job?" I asked
"Well I didn't get on with my boss." She admits.
I can sympathise Ted drives me mad on occasions I think
"You see I really can't work with women." She carries on.
I think my jaw actually dropped. Then I got paranoid that maybe she thought I was a man. Anyway she was a no from me and I stand by it.
At this point the smell of Ted distracts me from killing Jamie Fishy and possibly an innocent bystander.
"Morning Team Sales!" He booms, "How are we all today? Ready to make money money money?"
The team mutter unenthusiastically and I glare.
"Oh your interviewee is waiting upstairs by the way Kate. Are you and Jamie ready?"
I text Jamie, Interviewee is here, stop acting like a five year old girl and get your arse back NOW
Great an hour stuck in a small meeting room with my soon to be ex. Office romances are a bad move.
I arrive to work and yes I am late but ted has gone on a new get fit routine. I have a theory his wife is forcing him so every morning Ted arrives at 8am changes into jogging gear, goes for a run in Green Park and comes in late and stinky holding a bacon sandwich. Oh Ted.
So I arrive at half nine and Ted doesn't even know - score.
"Afternoon" Fishy calls snidely.
I ignore him and move with dignity towards my desk. Unfortunately I managed to knock a huge pile of files over. Damn. I kneel over to pick them up.
"What are you wearing on your knees Kate?" Ethan asks.
"My plasters?" I say confused.
"You have Cinderella plasters?" Fishy says, "Are you three?"
I blush "Simon got them for me after my concussion."
"With strict instructions to stop needing them every week." Simon laughs.
"You'll be jealous if you cut yourself." I say to Fishy.
"Why because he can't look like an idiot too?" Jamie says shooting me a dirty look before storming out. I sigh.
"What is up with him at the moment?" Ethan asks.
"I think I've annoyed him." Simon says looking worried, "He's been funny with me for a while."
"It could be Kate rejecting all the cute girls from the interview." Fishy says.
I look up, "What are you on about Fishy, you're making even less sense than usual."
Fishy smiles, "Jamie told me whenever a pretty girl goes along you reject her. Jealous much?"
"Are you high?" I say.
I think back to the interviews we had two attractive girls one who said she would only take the job for a salary of 30K (We have 18K to offer.) and one who I really liked up until the end of her interview.
"Why did you leave your last job?" I asked
"Well I didn't get on with my boss." She admits.
I can sympathise Ted drives me mad on occasions I think
"You see I really can't work with women." She carries on.
I think my jaw actually dropped. Then I got paranoid that maybe she thought I was a man. Anyway she was a no from me and I stand by it.
At this point the smell of Ted distracts me from killing Jamie Fishy and possibly an innocent bystander.
"Morning Team Sales!" He booms, "How are we all today? Ready to make money money money?"
The team mutter unenthusiastically and I glare.
"Oh your interviewee is waiting upstairs by the way Kate. Are you and Jamie ready?"
I text Jamie, Interviewee is here, stop acting like a five year old girl and get your arse back NOW
Great an hour stuck in a small meeting room with my soon to be ex. Office romances are a bad move.
Monday, 22 February 2010
Interviews, airbras, and what not to do
Sorry for the late update it has been a busy week so far I have:
- Received over 100 job applications from the guardian job advert - wow
- Seen five people for interviews
- Fallen over three times
- Fallen over once in front of another person - score!
- Ended up an a passionate moment
- Which then resulted in a half deflated air bra - not a look I would recommend
- Realised after an hour of walking around with an uneven chest that I could have just removed the other pad.
- Tried to break up with Jamie twice and failed both times
- Realised I am a moron.
Interviewee number one
Short guy with a goatee. (Goatees for me lose a point automatically)Turns up in jeans and a shirt with what looked like ketchup on it. I also think he might have been stoned. Jamie and I spent half an hour trying to get some sense out of him and then ten minutes laughing once he had left.
Interviewee number two
Rather tomboyish girl turns up wearing a suit - Jamie and I knuckle punch under the table (knuckle punch means points thumb grab means minus.) She seems nice, laughs at Jamie's feeble joke about not having to be mad to work here. As she gets up to leave Jamie raises his eyebrows at me and I smile - we think we have found our girl. As she leaves we both shake her hand and then she lets out the belch to end all belches. I blush instantly mortified for her. She laughs, "If I get the job you'll be hearing that a lot." She says.
Jamie and I look at each other when she has left. "No!"
Friday, 12 February 2010
New professional me, email abuse and inappropriate meetings
Now I am a manager I decide things are going to change I am gong to be professional and detached and start falling over less. I only decided this this afternoon so the mornings fall does not count.
However I get back to my desk after lunch to the email.
"Hi Kate C, thanks for setting up a profile on our site - we look forward to matching you up with available lesbians soon."
Er what the hell?
"Who added me to a lesbian dating site?" I shout, "Because I am going to kill you."
Simon and Jamie both start laughing and Ethan looks torn between amusement and disapproval
"Jamie?" I accuse, he shakes his head laughing
"Simon?"
"I wish I'd thought of it." He says
Fishy glares at me, "Don't look at me, I enjoy my lesbian fantasies having you there would ruin it."
Ouch a slightly uncomfortable silence falls before Ethan says, "Kate i think you are forgetting the obvious culprit, Rob?"
"Oh right." I say.
"And give it a rest Fishy." Ethan says, "I mean it."
I smile at gratefully at Ethan.
At that point Ted decides to come out of the meeting room - he has been holed up in there all day.
"I have a task for my new management team," He says gloatingly. "Jamie Kate, you will be writing a job description for our new member of staff. But don't worry I felt it was unfair to leave my two minions without a little of my guidance" He beams giving us a printed sheet.
I see Fishy smirking and swear at him behind Ted's back.
Jamie and I wander into the meeting room and I am quickly distracted by "Oh Sh*t"
"Whats wrong?" I say
He groans have you seen Ted's description.
I look over and feel my stomach drop
Superstar Sales and Marketing wannabe
We need someone full of energy with a degree, preferably two years experience and a strong work ethic,. They must be willing to put in all the extra hours we need, sell when needed to and assist with all marketing and admin. The job will include overseas travel and exciting progression.
Jamie and I give each other a look
"Overseas travel?" I ask
"I know and have you seen the salary?"
The salary is 18K
"So how are we going to break it to Ted that he is living in a dream world?" I ask
"Over this or just in general?" Jamie says.
I laugh, "We could just re-write it to something sensible?"
We sit and work for a bit and I begin to relax. Things aren't tense between us I think, it's fine he doesn't even care any more.
Which takes me even more by surprise when he suddenly kisses me.
I get the feeling kissing in a meeting room might not be maintaining my professional exterior
However I get back to my desk after lunch to the email.
"Hi Kate C, thanks for setting up a profile on our site - we look forward to matching you up with available lesbians soon."
Er what the hell?
"Who added me to a lesbian dating site?" I shout, "Because I am going to kill you."
Simon and Jamie both start laughing and Ethan looks torn between amusement and disapproval
"Jamie?" I accuse, he shakes his head laughing
"Simon?"
"I wish I'd thought of it." He says
Fishy glares at me, "Don't look at me, I enjoy my lesbian fantasies having you there would ruin it."
Ouch a slightly uncomfortable silence falls before Ethan says, "Kate i think you are forgetting the obvious culprit, Rob?"
"Oh right." I say.
"And give it a rest Fishy." Ethan says, "I mean it."
I smile at gratefully at Ethan.
At that point Ted decides to come out of the meeting room - he has been holed up in there all day.
"I have a task for my new management team," He says gloatingly. "Jamie Kate, you will be writing a job description for our new member of staff. But don't worry I felt it was unfair to leave my two minions without a little of my guidance" He beams giving us a printed sheet.
I see Fishy smirking and swear at him behind Ted's back.
Jamie and I wander into the meeting room and I am quickly distracted by "Oh Sh*t"
"Whats wrong?" I say
He groans have you seen Ted's description.
I look over and feel my stomach drop
Superstar Sales and Marketing wannabe
We need someone full of energy with a degree, preferably two years experience and a strong work ethic,. They must be willing to put in all the extra hours we need, sell when needed to and assist with all marketing and admin. The job will include overseas travel and exciting progression.
Jamie and I give each other a look
"Overseas travel?" I ask
"I know and have you seen the salary?"
The salary is 18K
"So how are we going to break it to Ted that he is living in a dream world?" I ask
"Over this or just in general?" Jamie says.
I laugh, "We could just re-write it to something sensible?"
We sit and work for a bit and I begin to relax. Things aren't tense between us I think, it's fine he doesn't even care any more.
Which takes me even more by surprise when he suddenly kisses me.
I get the feeling kissing in a meeting room might not be maintaining my professional exterior
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Angry Fishy, gloating and new responsibilities
Wow I'm a manager so do I get more money?" I demand.
Ted sighs, "Yes I am speaking to Jay about your new package."
"Great. Can I suggest a big raise." I smile as sweetly as I can manage
Ted laughs, "You can suggest it." (Damn my smiles are clearly not effective or persuasive)
I smile harder - my face kind of hurts, "If I promise to be really nice to you can I get one?"
Ted laughs, "That's up to Jay and off the record the man is the biggest cheapskate you'll ever meet."
I sigh "So what do you think I'll get."
"I'll try and get you around 26K" he promises
"Twenty seven would make me even nicer." I say hopefully.
He laughs, "Don't push it girlie."
Ted quickly stops off and grabs a sandwich and I dash ahead to gloat.
"I'm a marketing manager now!" I call at the sales team,
The guys and Andi give me a hug and Fishy looks horrified
Fishy glares at me, "You have to be joking?"
"Nope" I say smugly
Fishy scowls, "So does this mean you are going to be on time now?"
I smile "Still suffering with SMS I see."
"Okay I'm going to bite." Simon says, "SMS?"
"No." I explain, "It's short man syndrome, affecting males with size complex, they over compensate by being mean. Actually it has been found this makes it worse and causes erectile dysfunction. The poor short men."
Fishy rolls his eyes, "I'll stop being mean when you say something intelligent or do something useful."
I shrug, "I thought the whole point of being a manager is to get less done and steal other people success."
Fishy smirks, "Hi Ted." He calls behind me, "Kate was just talking about you."
Oh crap.
I blush and Ethan and Simon seem torn between looking sympathetic and amused
Ted rolls his eyes, "When you have finished trying to be witty can you and Jamie come through to the meeting room I need a word."
Jamie and I exchange guilty looks - what have we managed to do now.
Ted sits us down and says seriously "You two are going to be my new team. I need Sales and Sales support" (Marketing I mutter) Ted ignores me, "110% focused on the job. Therefore we are creating a new role. The new person will take over some of the easy renewal sales from Jamie and assist Kate with the marketing."
"Sounds like a great idea." Jamie says.
Ted nods "And to give you two a bit more responsibility you will be joint interviewing all applicants. I will have the final say. So I need you two to work closely together this week and come up with a plan of action. Go Team Sales!"
Hmmm I am beginning to think that snogging Jamie last week was an even worse move than I thought....
Ted sighs, "Yes I am speaking to Jay about your new package."
"Great. Can I suggest a big raise." I smile as sweetly as I can manage
Ted laughs, "You can suggest it." (Damn my smiles are clearly not effective or persuasive)
I smile harder - my face kind of hurts, "If I promise to be really nice to you can I get one?"
Ted laughs, "That's up to Jay and off the record the man is the biggest cheapskate you'll ever meet."
I sigh "So what do you think I'll get."
"I'll try and get you around 26K" he promises
"Twenty seven would make me even nicer." I say hopefully.
He laughs, "Don't push it girlie."
Ted quickly stops off and grabs a sandwich and I dash ahead to gloat.
"I'm a marketing manager now!" I call at the sales team,
The guys and Andi give me a hug and Fishy looks horrified
Fishy glares at me, "You have to be joking?"
"Nope" I say smugly
Fishy scowls, "So does this mean you are going to be on time now?"
I smile "Still suffering with SMS I see."
"Okay I'm going to bite." Simon says, "SMS?"
"No." I explain, "It's short man syndrome, affecting males with size complex, they over compensate by being mean. Actually it has been found this makes it worse and causes erectile dysfunction. The poor short men."
Fishy rolls his eyes, "I'll stop being mean when you say something intelligent or do something useful."
I shrug, "I thought the whole point of being a manager is to get less done and steal other people success."
Fishy smirks, "Hi Ted." He calls behind me, "Kate was just talking about you."
Oh crap.
I blush and Ethan and Simon seem torn between looking sympathetic and amused
Ted rolls his eyes, "When you have finished trying to be witty can you and Jamie come through to the meeting room I need a word."
Jamie and I exchange guilty looks - what have we managed to do now.
Ted sits us down and says seriously "You two are going to be my new team. I need Sales and Sales support" (Marketing I mutter) Ted ignores me, "110% focused on the job. Therefore we are creating a new role. The new person will take over some of the easy renewal sales from Jamie and assist Kate with the marketing."
"Sounds like a great idea." Jamie says.
Ted nods "And to give you two a bit more responsibility you will be joint interviewing all applicants. I will have the final say. So I need you two to work closely together this week and come up with a plan of action. Go Team Sales!"
Hmmm I am beginning to think that snogging Jamie last week was an even worse move than I thought....
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