Alcoholic interviews part one - One vodka and tonic later

Well to kick things off with a flying start Ted invited both candidates along at the same time. I knew he couldn't get it right for very long.

“Er you didn’t want to keep them separate?” I ask. Rob raises his eyebrows at this.
“No.” Says Ted, “I thought it would save time and money to do it all in one go.”
“But don’t you think they might feel a bit awkward knowing they are both competing for the same job?” Rob asks tactfully.
Ted frowns and the looks up brightening. “We could sell it like X factor, competing for one spot.”

What planet does this man live on?
Rob and I exchange dubious looks.
“Ted this is a junior sales position not a record contract.” I point out gently

Ted looks confused. “And?”
“God were you out for pizza when tact was handed out?” I say.

I know he is my boss and I should not lose my temper but.... the man is an idiot. I roll my eyes and turn to Rob who is laughing
Rob nudges me and says “Er Kate you were probably out when they were giving us tact too.”
“Yeah but at least I stuck around for brains rather than asking for excess nasal hair.” I retort.

Note to self - before making mean remarks about your boss - check said boss is not standing right behind you. Luckily I am saved by one of our interviewees arriving. A rather scared looking young guy who seems shyer than I would expect a sales guy to be. Seconds later the other candidate turns up, a girl who seems quite fun and outgoing but laughs like Janice from friends.

Who do you think we should vote?

Tell me why I don't like Mondays

Because at the moment this Monday is shaping up well.

First I arrive twenty minutes late and no one even seems to notice. I even had an excuse prepared to do with water on the tube - hey there has to be some benefit of how crap London Underground are.

Second following our drinks I have decided that I will not obsess that I am not marriage material I will just be glad to have survived the potential cliff shove. On an entirely unrelated subject I do make everyone a cup of tea and coffee that morning and even offer to do the lunch time round...
I have been having fun at my job recently too - Raw has been taking me to industry conferences and letting me see their literature and I am making up brochures and media packs. I find myself taking to these like a duck to water - I actually feel like I am doing something I am good at for pretty much the first time in my life.

And Jim has said that if I want to I can work from home one day a week! Woohoo sitting on the computer in my pyjamas. If I am feeling like it I can email naked.

Ha! Naked Wednesdays!

All about my co-workers!

As things start here are the reoccurring players in this little drama. I will update this when needed.

Kate:
The star and heroine of the show. I am your omnipresent voice. Fearless and always right. Okay the last part is bollocks but you get the picture. I am in my mid twenties with long blond hair,  fond of shoes and prone to embarassing myself on a regular basis..

Jay
The CEO of the publishing company I work  in . Both very posh and very patronizing. He has called me "Good Girl" already. Hello do I look twelve? (actually don't answer that considering they asked for my ID when I brought a bottle of wine yesterday) Jay is  scary due to stubbornness - ability to fire me, total lack of empathy and inability to listen to anyone else's opinion. He has grey hair so styled it wouldn't move even in a hurricane and is tall and skinny. He wears designer clothes at all times and is fond of braces. Sadly it is true. He is in his mid forties

May
Australian Admin girl. Soon to be promoted to production manager. She is brusque and to the point. She has brown curly hair and somewhat overweight. She hates dirty jokes and thinks the salesmen are immature and annoying. She is in her early thirties but seems older as she is very mature. Surprisingly we do get along.

Andrea - known as Andi 
Admin manager from the Ohio originally but has lived in England for seven years and worked at this company for six of them. Works from home a lot but when she is in the office is slightly confusing - incredibly professional but more than capable of downing copious amounts of cider and being one of the boys. She has mousy brown hair and is slightly bigger than average but by no means fat.She is in her early thirties

Dave
Salesman with an axe to grind. Average height bald and in his late twenties.

Jim
My boss currently in Switzerland - this is the man who hired me and who will be mentoring me so I can become a brilliant genius in the world of marketing. Yeah right. Jim is funny and quite laddish making many rude jokes and fond of swearing. (So am I actually but am being on my best behaviour for the moment) He likes to laugh and enjoys a buoyant atmosphere. He is in his forties, greying hair and tallish and on the thin side. He is often seen with a "cheeky glass of wine"

Jamie
Another sales man. He is similar to Jim in some ways - likes a drink likes a laugh has quite a filthy sense of humour and likes to have fun. Clearly a bit of a ladies man as he seems to have several girlfriends on the go. Enjoys a pint and is easy going and relaxed. he is in his mid twenties with dark hair - with a bit of a curl and is of average height and build. Not bad looking and a definite flirt to any woman who isn't Kay.

Chip
The accountant - incredibly camp incredibly gay and incredibly sweet. In his twenties again with curly hair and olive skin. He and Kay are close and often disappear out together.

Stee
Graphic designer. Wears filthy jeans and has dubious body odours. If you can get past this he is actually very nice. Slightly on the chubby side and I am guessing in his late thirties.

Jack
The sales junior who is only able to speak in Monotone. One of the youngest as this is his first job since university. Jack is American with a southern drawl. He is on the short side with light brown hair. He clearly looks up to Jamie and is trying to impress him.

Evan
The new sales man who will be replacing the disaster that lasted only two hours. Quiet and consciousness he becomes one of the only sales men Kay can stomach. He is a good listener but can also be very good fun. Is getting married in a few months and seems slightly under the thumb but an all round nice man. Slightly on the chubby side he is in his mid thirties with light brown hair. He also seems very fond of blue socks

Rob
He is a new salesman who will be joining us shortly. He is rather young looking in the face and gives an impression of innocence. Do not fool for it - a close personal friend of Jim he is a practical joker and a terrible flirt with the ability to sell ice to Eskimos. Charm by the bucket loads and witty with a fondness for pints he is a force to be reckoned with. Jamie immediately idolizes him. Rob is in his early thirties and is tall and slim to the point of almost being skinny. Light brown hair and freckles and an infectious smile