Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Christmas presents/ bribes and a lack of laxatives....

I am feeling happier today. I figure things really can't get much worse than being presented with video footage a makeout session - (Which was really unflattering) and then getting sandwiched between the two workmates you had indiscretions with. Yes today is going to be a good day.

I arrive relatively on time (9:15am - get me) and settle into my desk when an email arrives from Simon.

Look in your bottom desk draw

Be subtle but I left something there for you. Come make tea with me in five minutes? Just want to say sorry.

Hmmm torn between sulking and looking I take a look in the desk - and see a bottle of Issey Miyake- my favourite perfume I can't believe he remembered

Ted comes in, Hope we are all recovered sufficiently from the party then team, he bellows

"Er hello Ted?" I say, "No one else called in sick the next day. remember?"
"Well no one else had the dodgy prawn starter" He lies
"No or five whiskey shots." I mutter.
"Do you have an off switch?" He asks, "Because thats what I want as my Christmas present."
"Do you have an on switch?" I retort, "Because I've yet to see evidence."
"Are you offering to help him find it?" Smirks Fishy.

I glare at him and Jamie looks at the two of us curiously

"So you guys up for lunch today?" Jamie asks "I want all the party updates. Can't believe I missed it.Crap time to be ill."
"Definitely" Fishy says happily, "Simon, Kate, Rob you guys coming? We should ask Andi too."
Simon and I blush.
Great just great.

"I'm making tea" I say and go to the kitchen. I boil the kettle and a few minutes later Simon arrives.
"If you want me to speak to you again you better have laxatives for Fishy's coffee" I say.
He smiles, "No just wanted to say sorry. So er sorry." He blushes "I don't want you to hate me. Especially not while you are holding hot tea."

I roll my eyes.
He sighs, "Seriosuly I feel like a complete arsehole - I just got back with my ex the weekend before and I didn't think you were interested and I'm really sorry. If you want to put laxatives in my tea you can."
I half laugh, "So the present is that a sorry present or a bribe to forgive you?"
Well if it is a bribe does that mean you have to forgive me otherwise return it?"
"Don't push it." I warn
"So are we okay?" He ask.
"Friends." I say and he gives me an awkwards hug."But if you really want to get back into my good books start thinking of revenge on Fishy.
He laughs, "I'm on it."


  1. Right. I'm fully up to speed now.

    Man, you had a good time, didn't you my chum?

    Normally if I went out for a work do, I just end up so drunk I begin to think I'm a ninja, and start stalking people under the pretence that I'm invisible. You have muuuuuuuuch more fun than I do.

    Quick question, do your colleges know about this blog?

  2. Just wanted to say Merry Christmas and all the best for 2010, Kate

    Mel x

  3. Woa. So Simon has a gf? Woa. This is interesting. Dun Dun dun.

  4. Why doesn't anything cool like this happen to me at work! lol I need a little bad girl vibe.
    From you're newest follower. :)

  5. Fishy is turning out to be quite the trouble maker. Definitely time for revenge.

  6. Kate, I love your blog!! Wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas :)

  7. I agree with Hunter re Fishy, but I want something to happen with Simon!

  8. Well it was sweet of him to apologize. And maybe Fishy will end up with some lovely brownies for Christmas... muahahaha

  9. I'm also supporting the Fish. He sounds like a lovable rogue. And amatuer film-maker.

  10. Awww I kinda want something to happen with Simon...

    I'm all for revenge on Fishy...someones gotta be willing to help you out

    Merry Christmas!

  11. My favorite show is ... was ... the office. I no longer need to watch it, however. I can just read your blog. Merry Christmas, Kate!!

  12. I love your blog Kate. If only the office I work in was as interesting as yours!

    Merry Christmas!


  13. Fishy is on Santa's crap list, for sure!

    Happy Holidays, everybody, and thanks for such a wonderful blog, Kate! :D Your blog is a total must read for me!

  14. Love it, Kate!
    Wishing you a very happy Xmas!!Plenty of well-deserved happiness!
    love and hugs

  15. Maybe it's time to look for a new place to work?

  16. Ooooh yes!!! You guys can come up with a brilliant plan!

    I am excited to hear about it!

  17. Fuck Fishy. Have a good Christmas. - yurr

  18. merry christmas! keep an eye on fishy.

  19. that was pretty sweet of simon... you know for a two-timing guy and all... and i'm sure fishy is just having a lil fun. your office storis are simply amazing!

    merry christmas!

  20. Apologies that are accompanied by gifts are always my favorites, especially when it's really good stuff like a favourite perfume.

  21. Enjoy the perfume but stay away. "I didn't think you were interested" WTF!? That's a nonsensical excuse for cheating on his g/f with you. Go team Jamie!

  22. I'm all about the awkward hug!! seriously Merry Christmas!! and a happy New Year...a sepectator sport as wel!!
    darn girl

  23. Happy Christmas. Maybe Simon should be forgiven.

    S x

  24. Kate, just wanted to wish you a very happy Christmas and New Year. Yours is one of my absolute favourite blogs. I love your writing and I would buy your books!

  25. Hey girl I wanted to stop by & wish you a very Merry Christmas!!! I love your blog!!! =)

  26. i like that he tries to put the kiss on you by saying he didn't think you were interested... but who care when you have your fave perfume!

  27. That switch you were asking about to turn on Ted, (you said it not me), I think it might be dimmer.
    happy xmas sweetheart

  28. Oh, I'm going off Simon. He's sounding a bit smooth and practised at this two-timing. Don't trust him. Maybe Fishy is doing you a favour.

  29. Fishy,eh! atleast u gotto keep Issey Miyake :P Funny post i'd say :) hehe ... and thnks for droppin by :)

  30. He is so adorable!
    I don't think he's a two timer, he seems geniuly sorry for what he did.
    And besides, he gave you perfume, who are you to complain...
    Forgive the poor guy and glue Fishy to his chair.
    Good old pranks like that are the perfect way to get your revenge.

  31. Just wanted to say a very Merry Xmas and Happy New Year!

    Oh, and I do like your blog. I think I'll bookmark it for later reading :)

  32. Kate, I've made a special mention of you on my blog entry "Handing out awards is like giving crabs to children. I mean, candy."

    Merry belated Christmas and have a happy new year! :)

    x S

  33. Laxatives are so outdated. 2011 Its all about ipecac baby!

  34. Ho ho ho Kate
    Looking forward to the first instalment of the new decade!
    Happy new year,
    Kate xx

  35. the nu yr begins and a nice office rom-com scene to read...

    this is gonna turn out to b a good year

    i like humor like this...quite like me :P

  36. Happy New Year to you Kate!

    I would say try and keep out of trouble, but we both know thats not gonna happen.

    Plus, what the hell would you write about?