Hi Office you are paying me but what do I do?

Ah the burning question which has still not been fully answered.

My boss's idea of training me consisted of here are the publications have a look through them and come up with a plan.

Right I think I can do this - I must first understand what the hell we are selling - then I can figure out how to promote - Get me - I'm figuring out marketing all by myself!

I look at the clock after reading through the products and am stunned. I expected it to be at least next Tuesday. Right so I work on magazines that make time stand still. How to promote? It's a thinker.
Product 1 - For bankers and other such people - it's dull and online
Product 2 - It's dull and online and in print and it looks like it was designer when dinosaurs were still living - my grandfather would think this looked uncool. Would it hurt them to add some colour? Looking at the design is a good cure for insomnia though...
Product 3 - For lawyers advising rich morons. You've guessed it - it's dull.

So I google - yeah it's cheating but only if they find out and there are lots of articles with helpful ideas I can pass off as my own. Possibly slightly unethical but quite a lot of fun. I am also looking forward to the arrival of two new sales men. As far as eye candy goes there is only Jamie here and something tells me he might be trouble.We also have a new editor joining us soon.

Apparently there is a big welcome drinks next week for them all and me as well. I rather like the idea of this free alcohol and hopefully attractive men. I'll let you know how it goes. I am trying to maintain a vaguely professional image here (no falling asleep on the table, vomiting in public - you know the kind if thing)

Must not have more than two glasses of wine. Must not must not must not. I am the queen of willpower