Today I have been preparing for my Christmas promotion which has actually been a lot of fun. I get to give away champagne to all prized subscribers and go and buy gifts for them. This sounds like fun but unfortunately I have to go with Jay to choose them which is not.
Jay is the CEO - über posh and über annoying. The last meeting I had with him he made a joke about all the minions earning 30K or less. In retaliation I may have spat in his tea...... Yeah I know immature but the man is moron. And incredibly scary I always seem to stammer like an idiot around him.
However today he has brightened the atmosphere, not intentionally. As we are all sat at our desks in a rare moment of working (Yes these do happen) Jay bounces in. Literally. He can’t keep still and is doing a weird little jig.
"Ah the young sales team good good good." He proclaims in his prince Charles-esque nasally voice
We all look up at him. Jay's announcements are dull as hell but we know to pay careful attention or risk being shouted at.
"Everyone is a young vibrant team member here!" Jay says importantly, "And you all have the potential for greatness.Expanding to greatness in the publishing world. Little Acorns Mighty Oak Trees Grow and you are all acorns with potentials to launch that ship."
I glance at Ted and see his ears beginning to go red. After ten more minutes of listening to Jay spout rubbish Ted takes him upstairs for a brief meeting.
When Ted returns free of Jay Simon says,
"Hey Kate do you have any coke in your desk? I'm kind of thirsty?"
I splutter trying not to laugh and Jamie replies, "I have some Simon, I am a complete addict."
"Thanks." Simon smooths his blonde hair his face the picture of innocence.
"You know it is near Christmas." Rob says with a smirk, Anyone got a favourite song?"
"It's got to be Dreaming of a White Christmas" I reply.
Jamie grins, I prefer the more modern stuff, "White stripes anyone?"
"Will you lot shut the F*ck up?" Ted suddenly shouts.
Surreptitiously I glance at my emails - there is one from Laura sent an hour ago saying "Look out for Jay, he got a delivery this morning and has been high as a kite ever since."
Pros and Cons of having a boss with a blatant coke addiction:
- Pros: He never notices when we are slacking as he spends a lot of the time out of it
- Cons: He is prone to mood swings and scariness.
- Pros: he isn't around much. Cons: If he puts all the companies money up his nose it might go bust.
- Con: Ted has more power when he is on another planet.