HR nightmare, Ted losing his hair and red cheeks

There are days when I think Ted is clueless. And other days when I recieve concrete proof.

He announced this morning "I am so sick of bloody job interviews. I never want to see another candidate in my life."
Unfortunately for Ted Rob quitting means he needs to line up a new person pronto so Rob can train him while he is still here.

Poor Ted has been looking stressed and is bullying Simon about interview techniques and impressions after one candidate withdrew his application following a lengthy chat with Ted.
"So during your interview did I come across well?" He demands to Simon
"Um yeah I think so." Simon says looking a bit pink. Jamie grins.
"And you enjoyed it then? And learnt a lot of industry gold?" Ted continues.
Jamie and I both silently shake trying not to laugh.
Simon goes redder and nods umcomfortably at which point Rob takes pity and says, "Leave the poor boy alone Ted he is hardly going to tell his boss if the interview was crap."

Hello Ted this is reality calling - nice to meet you.

Ted looks taken aback and says very seriously,"Simon I and in fact the team, THE TEAM need your honest feedback. Do it for the team."

Jamie Rob and I all laugh simultaneously - good to see who has their minds in the gutter.

Simon sighs and says "Really it was fine."
"Total honesty Simon." Ted says, "feedback and evaluation for the TEAM we should all strive for self improvement. Even experienced managers like me."
"Well I thought that perhaps telling me about your past job history and qualifications for an hour and a half was a little too much." Simon says quietly. "I really liked the pub part though." He adds.

Ted looks shocked by the criticism but recovers quickly.
"Anything else you think I could have sold better?" He says
Simon grins, "well you could have told me Marketing likes to flash occasionally.
I throw my book at him
"Ow"

Come on now children," Ethan says, "How about you do a quick one hour interview Ted and then we have an evening to meet them? Saves everyones time"
Ted nods, "Sounds like a plan, I'm looking to hire someone before Christmas so I figure it will have to be a man."
"Why?" I protest. "I am sick of being outnumbered."
"Can you really see Rob training a hot young dolly without a sexual harassment suit? "
Jamie laughs, "He has you there mate."

He does but dolly? Seriously? Good job we don't have an HR department