Wednesday, 25 November 2009

HR nightmare, Ted losing his hair and red cheeks

There are days when I think Ted is clueless. And other days when I recieve concrete proof.

He announced this morning "I am so sick of bloody job interviews. I never want to see another candidate in my life."
Unfortunately for Ted Rob quitting means he needs to line up a new person pronto so Rob can train him while he is still here.

Poor Ted has been looking stressed and is bullying Simon about interview techniques and impressions after one candidate withdrew his application following a lengthy chat with Ted.
"So during your interview did I come across well?" He demands to Simon
"Um yeah I think so." Simon says looking a bit pink. Jamie grins.
"And you enjoyed it then? And learnt a lot of industry gold?" Ted continues.
Jamie and I both silently shake trying not to laugh.
Simon goes redder and nods umcomfortably at which point Rob takes pity and says, "Leave the poor boy alone Ted he is hardly going to tell his boss if the interview was crap."

Hello Ted this is reality calling - nice to meet you.

Ted looks taken aback and says very seriously,"Simon I and in fact the team, THE TEAM need your honest feedback. Do it for the team."

Jamie Rob and I all laugh simultaneously - good to see who has their minds in the gutter.

Simon sighs and says "Really it was fine."
"Total honesty Simon." Ted says, "feedback and evaluation for the TEAM we should all strive for self improvement. Even experienced managers like me."
"Well I thought that perhaps telling me about your past job history and qualifications for an hour and a half was a little too much." Simon says quietly. "I really liked the pub part though." He adds.

Ted looks shocked by the criticism but recovers quickly.
"Anything else you think I could have sold better?" He says
Simon grins, "well you could have told me Marketing likes to flash occasionally.
I throw my book at him

Come on now children," Ethan says, "How about you do a quick one hour interview Ted and then we have an evening to meet them? Saves everyones time"
Ted nods, "Sounds like a plan, I'm looking to hire someone before Christmas so I figure it will have to be a man."
"Why?" I protest. "I am sick of being outnumbered."
"Can you really see Rob training a hot young dolly without a sexual harassment suit? "
Jamie laughs, "He has you there mate."

He does but dolly? Seriously? Good job we don't have an HR department


  1. Ha Ha. I have to admit my mind was in the gutter too ! Hey, he could have said a hot young damsel. Yeah, Ted is clueless ...

  2. Quite clueless indeed. Something like that happened where I work, HR would be crawling all over this place!

  3. Your place of employment is endlessly entertaining.

  4. Oh, Ted. Why is there so frequently an inverse relationship between brains/tact and job title?

  5. These posts make me a little sad for the fact that I work from home, because I never get to experience things like this.

  6. Take one for the team!! Haha! That's amazing!

    I love this post.

  7. Someone needs to come around with a stick and whack some of thse guys on the head.

  8. Haha aw poor Ted! He wanted honesty, he got it. Is Simon as adorable as you make him sound?

    An evening out with the future Rob-replacement should be fun. I can't wait to read about it. (:

    This cheered me up. Thank you, Kate!

  9. i've been meaning to ask you this because your'e the perfect person to ask. Someone at work found my blog. Panic or don't care?

  10. i'm not a young hot dolly. can i apply?

  11. Well, maybe Ted shouldn't change his ways.
    I mean, it does show who has the heart to stand working for him every day.
    And perhaps an old ugly lady. Or a potential new office-crush.
    That wouldn't be so bad, would it?

  12. Nice post, Kate. Can't wait to hear who they bring in. I think you need a female rival for Simon and Gaymie's attention...

  13. My first visit to your's really neat..

    Dorothy from grammology

  14. I pretty much want to work where you work. In a way, I love sexual harassment. Not in the way that it keeps women from moving forward in the work place, but because it's pretty damn funny.

  15. Nice young dolly? Why couldn't a middle aged librarian type fill the job? lol

  16. oh but if he hired some young hot stud, that would be good :)

  17. I think I have a crush on Simon ...

  18. Love your place of employment! Love its atmosphere.
    Have a great time
    hugs hugs

  19. I donno? I think I would rather have a new Hot guy to work with..and be out numbered...I play dumb really easy so it wouldn't bother me if they were chauvantistic at times

  20. Dolly is a little 1950-ish, isn't it? These boys you work with need a good slapping. Problem is, they'd probably enjoy it. ;)

  21. You have a really interesting office I may say. Just like it should be.

  22. I'm feeling compelled to go to the start of this blog and catch up!!! I love it!!! I'm an expat living in South GA and we just don't get this kind of office drama over here... I miss it so much, you could be the link I have been looking for!!! Thanks!!!

  23. Kate, I have a present for you on my blog.Please stop by and pick it up.
    hugs hugs

  24. Reminds me of my days working in HR. Fun read. Thanks!

  25. Martinis or Diaper Genies? - If it was me I would panic but I love your blog and I don't think you ever dish dirt on co-workers so I think you should be okay. Happy Birthday by the way :)

    Kate xx

  26. Hiding Myself From Me - Glad it wasn't just us. Oh Ted. Will he never learn?

    Ian - My company is too cheap to have an HR dept - we outsource so pretty much anything goes....

    The Peach Tart - And endlessly insane!

    Hunter - It is one of the worlds mysteries

    Badass Geek - But you don;t have to deal with Ted on a daily basis.....

    Will answer the rest later K x

  27. Kato - I know he is mad

    secret agent woman - Any volunteers welcome!

    missykimmy -Ha ha glad to be of service - yeah Simon is great funny nice and cute. I think he is an alien.

    Sarah - I think I would hit someone if they called me "Hit young dolly" ew!

    Little Sophie - Can't imagine anyone replacing Rob - he is irreplaceable!

  28. plentymorefishoutofwater - a female rival who Ted does not consider a hot young dolly!

    Dorothy- Thanks :)

    One Sassy Girl - Love the post - and very true

    Aunt Juicebox - If any apply I am rooting for them.

    Anonymous - he is adoreable.

    Just telling it like it is - Hmmmm another guy tho - so outnumbered as it is....

    MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings - Ha ha very true!

    Wynn - Interesting/ surreal on occasions

    Betty - Thanks :)

    jo - Hot young studs are always good!

    McGillicutty - Thanks

    Marla - Glad you liked :) Hopefully see you again

    Kate x