Monday, 16 November 2009

Poking the beast aka Ted and Rob drops a bombshell


I think I might have pushed Ted a little further than was fair. He’s still on a major drive to try and motivate the sales team. This includes him standing up and cheering whenever sales come through and now he has decided to hold a weekly meeting on Monday mornings. He initially wanted to hold it at 8:30am so it wouldn't cut into work time. I pointed out that if it didn’t cut into work time did that mean it was optional so the conclusion was it begins at 10am.

Considering I am marketing and not sales I feel a little annoyed at having to go along to another sales meeting.

"Right TEAM" Ted barks at us all - I think he is trying to be motivational but he just looks red and a little sweaty. "I want you all to sell sell sell this week and beat every target."
I sigh I feel tempted to ask if I should market market market but I think he might say yes.

"So TEAM." Ted continues, "Are we ready to be the best we can be this week?"
I sigh and see Simon and Jamie both sniggering across the table and Ethan looking impatient.
"So let’s start with Ethan." Ted booms, "Board Leader again, you are the one to beat so show the guys how to do it."
Ethan sighs and says mildly, "Well I could tell them my sales pitch but to be honest I would rather just get on the phone and earn my commission." He looks around and adds, "Of course if anyone really does want to know more I am happy to let you listen to my calls or give you feedback on yours."
"Great answer Sales man number one." Says Ted clearly not having listened to a word of it. Ethan rolls his eyes.
Ted then turns to me “Now you Kate how are you planning to smash your targets today?"
"Well I don’t work in sales so I wasn't." I say.
"That's not the attitude.” Ted responds. “How do you intend to bring in revenue?"
I sigh “I have some promotional campaigns to analysis today so I can look at future revenues."
"No." says Ted. “Revenue today, how do you intend to bring in money today?"
"I think I will have a sandwich for lunch." I respond.
Ted looks confused and I smirk. Ha that finally got through to him.
"Kate I asked a question." Ted says,
"And I ignored it and moved on." I say.
I got the ears to go purple before 10am - new record and I know I shouldn’t poke the beast but he makes it too easy…

After Ted has finished glaring at me he turns to Rob, "So what are you planning on doing today Rob?" He asks.
Rob smiles lazily. "Well I was planning on resigning."
Mine Jamie's and Ethan’s jaws all drop… what the ...
"Here's my letter" Rob says.

The meeting promptly finishes and Jamie and I grab Rob with the words "Pub lunchtime tell us what is going on!"

41 comments:

  1. That was a great read. Looking forward to finding out what IS going on!

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  2. Oh no! I love and hate your cliffhangers in equal measure...I NEED to know what happens - NOW!

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  3. Oh no! ROB? Why is he resigning?

    Loved how you replied to Ted. And it was like he tried to keep the motivating spirit going as long as he could, but you just shot him down with your plans for lunch haha.

    missykimmy.blogspot.com

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  4. What the???? You better post as soon as you find out. Take a lap top to the pub, post from there!

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  5. Good news is that Ted almost certainly forgot about your comment when Rob dropped that bomb.

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  6. What! Great way for him to do it!

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  7. I feel sorry for Ted. I must be getting old

    Sigh

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  8. Oh my goodness Kate!! Again, you made me laugh! Purple ears! Haha! You are my new hero.

    And Rob! Why? Where? What? Don't leave us hanging!

    Thanks again for a great post, although now I will be left wondering...

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  9. Great stuff! Can't wait to see what happens!

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  10. Is this what I have to look forward to once I'm done with my delicious student life?

    trustyourtechnolust.blogspot.com

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  11. Purple ears by ten you say? youre good kid, real good, but I reckon I can get fists on desks by 08:30.

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  12. I love your punchline, of course -- the letter of resignation thing is fantastic! But I also love these lines:

    “Now you Kate how are you planning to smash your targets today?"

    "Well I don’t work in sales so I wasn't." I say.

    This ought to be on television, no joke.

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  13. Hi, I have an award for you! The ‘Superior scribbler’ award. You can pick it up at my blog http://2be4tunate.blogspot.com, under the entry ‘Wow, not just one, but two awards! Thank you!!!’ . And just keep up the great work!

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  14. Wow, you've got moxy! Is Rob really quitting???

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  15. omg! another one bites the dust?! and i love your responses to ted.

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  16. haha I worked with a doctor who emphasized TEAM with his patients. It works for some, but I looked at him like a douche.

    I can't wait to hear about pub lunchtime and Rob!

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  17. Go Rob! And this isn't the season finale cliffhanger, right? I mean, we don't have to wait 9 months to find out if Rob returns next season or gets killed off and goes to another show, do we?

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  18. "Are we ready to be the best we can be this week?"

    Gosh I hate that kind of language.

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  19. OMG I love the drama as usual. GREAT ending!!!

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  20. ps I'm following now. I didn't realize I wasn't!

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  21. *cue thematic music*

    I wish I could resign my job. Sadly, my bills enjoy my paycheck too much.

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  22. Hey
    Hope are well. I still hate TED!!!
    I've posted a question to readers on my blog! would you visit, and give it an answer!!!
    Thanks so much for your help.
    Linda

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  23. This is not happening!!! What happens next?

    Sarah

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  24. can i resign from my son's never ending blabber

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  25. I like your blog. I think your use of salesmen vs. marketing is something I rarely have read before.

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  26. I love what Rob did. That's HILARIOUS! That's my dream, when I finally leave my job...to be able to do it like that.

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  27. My managers decided that the best way to motivate us in a sales slump was to give us all written warnings. I feel, essentially, demotivated.

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  28. Oh Rob what a dramatic exit! Can't wait to hear why he left.
    And I just thought that this will mean there is an opening at your office! More interviews. Yipee!

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  29. Congratulations! You just received a blog award from me. Check it out at http://the-delicious-life.blogspot.com/

    Oh, how your blog makes me laugh :)

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  30. ¡Su Blog es demasiado adictivo!

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  31. Sorry for the late responses I have been sick for the week with food poisoning! I am planning on updating tomorrow though and will reply to comments then. Kate xx

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  32. So has he resigned? Rob's my favorite :(

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  33. Why is Rob resigning?! shocking!

    LC
    xxx

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  34. Love your stuff, Kate. There are two awards over at my place for you..

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  35. blog award at mine too!

    www.whatagirlwantslc.blogspot.com

    LC
    xxx

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  36. When is the update?

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  37. All - so sorry to be so slow - I ended up with food poisoning. I blame salad!

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