Poking the beast aka Ted and Rob drops a bombshell

I think I might have pushed Ted a little further than was fair. He’s still on a major drive to try and motivate the sales team. This includes him standing up and cheering whenever sales come through and now he has decided to hold a weekly meeting on Monday mornings. He initially wanted to hold it at 8:30am so it wouldn't cut into work time. I pointed out that if it didn’t cut into work time did that mean it was optional so the conclusion was it begins at 10am.

Considering I am marketing and not sales I feel a little annoyed at having to go along to another sales meeting.

"Right TEAM" Ted barks at us all - I think he is trying to be motivational but he just looks red and a little sweaty. "I want you all to sell sell sell this week and beat every target."
I sigh I feel tempted to ask if I should market market market but I think he might say yes.

"So TEAM." Ted continues, "Are we ready to be the best we can be this week?"
I sigh and see Simon and Jamie both sniggering across the table and Ethan looking impatient.
"So let’s start with Ethan." Ted booms, "Board Leader again, you are the one to beat so show the guys how to do it."
Ethan sighs and says mildly, "Well I could tell them my sales pitch but to be honest I would rather just get on the phone and earn my commission." He looks around and adds, "Of course if anyone really does want to know more I am happy to let you listen to my calls or give you feedback on yours."
"Great answer Sales man number one." Says Ted clearly not having listened to a word of it. Ethan rolls his eyes.
Ted then turns to me “Now you Kate how are you planning to smash your targets today?"
"Well I don’t work in sales so I wasn't." I say.
"That's not the attitude.” Ted responds. “How do you intend to bring in revenue?"
I sigh “I have some promotional campaigns to analysis today so I can look at future revenues."
"No." says Ted. “Revenue today, how do you intend to bring in money today?"
"I think I will have a sandwich for lunch." I respond.
Ted looks confused and I smirk. Ha that finally got through to him.
"Kate I asked a question." Ted says,
"And I ignored it and moved on." I say.
I got the ears to go purple before 10am - new record and I know I shouldn’t poke the beast but he makes it too easy…

After Ted has finished glaring at me he turns to Rob, "So what are you planning on doing today Rob?" He asks.
Rob smiles lazily. "Well I was planning on resigning."
Mine Jamie's and Ethan’s jaws all drop… what the ...
"Here's my letter" Rob says.

The meeting promptly finishes and Jamie and I grab Rob with the words "Pub lunchtime tell us what is going on!"