Thursday, 5 November 2009

Ted updates me on Arthur and I am a bad employee



Ah the meeting with Arthur. Ted says we need to have a chat this afternoon.

Unfortunately I remember some of my ideas included:
  • Suggesting we had more attractive people on the covers of our magazines and books. I seem to remember I also went into a ten minute rant about mullet man feature last week
  • Making Ted dress up as an piece of fruit once a week
  • Making a few reader quizzes with decent prizes rather than just subscriptions to our stuff. Yes I think those were my actual words.
So I am pretty nervous when Ted takes me into the meeting room.

He clears his throat importantly and says" "Arthur has spoken in depth to Jay about you."
I blush and try to look innocent and wrongfully accused.
Ted looks at me oddly, "Are you all right Katie - you looked a bit deranged."

Oh God I think - stop looking deranged. I can feel myself getting redder and I know I am doing a weird scary starry smile.
"I'm fine." I stammer looking at the floor and trying to stop myself turning into a human tomato.

"Anyway," Ted says clearly deciding being alone in a room with a crazy woman is a bad plan. "Arthur was hugely impressed by your ideas and enthusiasm. So much so he wants you to join our management meetings."

Arthur was impressed I think utterly stunned. Was he drunk too? Then I realise what Ted has said. Management meetings. I look up in horror. These are the most boring meetings in the history of the world

"Are you sure?" I say "I mean I'm not very.....management type."
Good one Kate
"Yes." Says Ted glaring, "Believe me it's not my decision."
"So do I have to do anything?" I ask nervously.
"Not much Ted says, "The occasional presentations, take notes and try not to be a smart ass.You might want to practise that. Extensively."

I hate him.

31 comments:

  1. Making Ted dress up as an piece of fruit once a week

    I bet you thats the line that impressed Arthur the most. LOL

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  2. Wow Ted. Way to be brutally honest. Start him off as an apple.

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  3. Loved that human tomato!!
    and the last paragraph too.
    Thanks for passing by my blog.
    BTW i love humous too.
    Try yogurt with gralic, or mustard seeds.
    xo

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  4. Any juicy office romances happening over there?

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  5. You're moving on up, Kate. Think of all the fun you'll have when Ted reports to you.

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  6. Haha. I have a major soft spot for Ted. Nice post.

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  7. sorry kate. taking notes is the most boring job on earth. but dressing ted up may be fun!

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  8. Hahah! Way to show them!!! Good for you for being drunk and pulling off a meeting, AND getting ahead in the company!

    I need to take pointers from you!

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  9. Why, oh why did you stop yourself turning into a human tomato? I wanted to READ the post about that experience!

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  10. Haha...Ted sounds like such a character...please explain the fruit reference?!

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  11. I do my best work when I'm drunk. Maybe you do too.

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  12. Get a gang and kick Ted's arse! You rock, girl!

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  13. haha! loved the ideas and i bet arthur did too, especially the one bout dressing ted up as a fruit! what is ted talking bout? it's your smart ass that got you into the management meeting to begin with.

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  14. When you're good, you can't hide it.

    I love the line about mgmt meetings being the most boring in the history of the world. So true.

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  15. hahaha... well congratulations!

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  16. Ohhh Ted is an evil genius and he's taking you prisoner! Only one thing to do, go along no matter how boring and get really drunk cause you always do better that way.

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  17. I knew it! It seems everything you touch accidentally catches fire... one way or the other. ;)

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  18. I think Ted is just scared that you might be promoted, then he'd have to be nicer to you. ;)

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  19. Go for it Kate!!!

    Those management meetings are boring - you're right there - but I think the old dressed up as a fruit should definetly be made to happen, even if its for charity!!!

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  20. attend the first one dressed as a pinapple, and shout "some shit is gonna change around here!" when you walk in. There's no way they could not like that.*


    *prob'ly

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  21. haha. and i'm starting to feel a little sorry for ted too.

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  22. You can't be a smart ass? What's the fun in that?

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  23. Oh god. Reminds me of my days in the magazine office. This and a cross between Bridget Jones's diary. Hope mgmt doesn't catch whiff of your blog...you will have enough stories to publish eventually...

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  24. But you made 'being a smart ass' a good thing! It's one of the things I like about you. (:

    I wish you much luck with the boring meetings. Hopefully, there will be interesting enough people to blog about.

    missykimmy.blogspot.com

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  25. At least your talent is being recognized.

    I have had an inconvenient blush from time to time--like the other day at school when a cute guy standing right next to me smiled in my direction and instead of responding I looked down at the floor, turned bright red, and tried not to giggle.

    He probably thought I was either a snob or developmentally disabled.

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  26. Innocent Owner Of Mad Cats -My best ideas seem to be born of vodka

    Ian/Chester - Sadly that idea was rejected

    Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com/Fran Hill - I just wish someone would invent a cure for blushing

    Secretia - Well there is a Christmas party coming up and I think there is already something going on between two staff members

    Hunter/Sarah/Robin - I wish!

    Martinis or Diaper Genies? - Ted thats because he IS deranged!

    MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings - It's tempting on a daily basis

    plentymorefishoutofwater -Ted really???

    Kato - It was a fluke -either Arthur is mad or maybe he was drunk too...

    plainolebob/Roxy - Thanks

    LC - I would if I could. I blame vodka

    RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild - I know they are hell on earth.

    Sparkless - Ha ha like it!

    lifechick -OH no the fire!

    the blogger formerly known as bulldog _ I think I embarrass myself enough without the help of props!

    little miss angry - I sometimes do as well.

    Badass Geek - I wouldn't last not being a smartass!

    I Wonder Wye - Ha ha thanks

    BrightenedBoy - I know it is an illness damn it!

    R.R.Jones - There are times when I genuinely feel fond of him and times when I want to kill him!

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