Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Hiring and firing - and how not to.

Oh dear. Staff changes are coming...

Despite my many examples of making a tit of myself I am in the clear. I just created a new marketing promotion that brought in an extra 20K worth of subscriptions. They aren’t firing me any time soon. In fact I am Jay’s new favourite girl.

Unfortunately being Jay's favourite is not fun. He keeps leering at me what I can only imagine he thinks is projecting encouragement. To me is looks more like constipation. He has called me a "very good girl" several times today at one point came close to patting me on the head. Seriously….

I may have let out a small growl to discourage this which caused Rob to break out in a suspicious bout of coughing. Rob has now taken to winking at me whenever Jay walks in miming good girl. Still my fake laugh coughing seems to be keeping Jay away.

The person in the firing line is Jack - American sales guy who talks in permanent monotone. I feel bad for him. Jim is leaving this week and poor Jack never got any training. Jamie tried to help a bit but he is pretty busy so Jack has ended up left with a poor sales record.

So how did I find this out? Surely someone being on employment probation should be private? Not according to the gospel of Ted.

Ted apparently thinks the best way to encourage him would be to send the following email:

Dear All,

As you may be aware Jack joined us recently. However, I am sorry to say he has not passed his probation period. We have extended this another month but I do not feel sales is the career for him. If after the additional month nothing changes we will be recruiting for a replacement. Jack will be welcome to stay on in an administrative role until he finds a new job.



Head of Tact and Discretion

Oh Ted just when you were doing so well. On the plus side at least he couldn't find a megaphone. The man is clueless.


  1. I have been telling people in my office about this blog...Andrea from customer services came over at dinner and said she too was hooked. As for this post`, I am going to admit I have a slight soft spot for Ted. The man's got some kind of balls.

  2. Oh thats so insensitive! Poor guy!

  3. And I was actually starting to like Ted now I just feel cheap and nasty for ever feeling that way! Ask Rob if he's got something in his eye the next time he winks at you.

  4. Oh, he sounds like paradise on a stick, aren't you the lucky one?

  5. Wow, Ted is either completely clueless or just does not care what anyone thinks. Such an email in an office environment here would likely lead to disciplinary action towards Ted, actually. In the U.S., Jack could probably sue for the breach of confidentiality and emotional distress!