Oh dear. Staff changes are coming...
Despite my many examples of making a tit of myself I am in the clear. I just created a new marketing promotion that brought in an extra 20K worth of subscriptions. They aren’t firing me any time soon. In fact I am Jay’s new favourite girl.
Unfortunately being Jay's favourite is not fun. He keeps leering at me what I can only imagine he thinks is projecting encouragement. To me is looks more like constipation. He has called me a "very good girl" several times today at one point came close to patting me on the head. Seriously….
I may have let out a small growl to discourage this which caused Rob to break out in a suspicious bout of coughing. Rob has now taken to winking at me whenever Jay walks in miming good girl. Still my fake laugh coughing seems to be keeping Jay away.
The person in the firing line is Jack - American sales guy who talks in permanent monotone. I feel bad for him. Jim is leaving this week and poor Jack never got any training. Jamie tried to help a bit but he is pretty busy so Jack has ended up left with a poor sales record.
So how did I find this out? Surely someone being on employment probation should be private? Not according to the gospel of Ted.
Ted apparently thinks the best way to encourage him would be to send the following email:
As you may be aware Jack joined us recently. However, I am sorry to say he has not passed his probation period. We have extended this another month but I do not feel sales is the career for him. If after the additional month nothing changes we will be recruiting for a replacement. Jack will be welcome to stay on in an administrative role until he finds a new job.
Head of Tact and Discretion
Oh Ted just when you were doing so well. On the plus side at least he couldn't find a megaphone. The man is clueless.