Friday, 18 September 2009

I am really impressing my employer- is that the sack I see approaching?

I really need to learn to follow these basic lessons. My boss is annoying but I do not want to get fired.

Therefore this is a list of things I will no longer be doing....well maybe.

Do not after turning up half an hour late claim you were there all day and your boss "simply didn't take the time to notice my existence which I find deeply wounding."
Ted replied "Kate not only is that inappropriate it suggest a possible lack of respect for me."

On being told you show a possible lack of respect for your boss do not - I repeat DO NOT correct said boss with the statement. "No it wasn't not a possible lack of respect it was a definite lack of respect."

Do not manage to wear two shoes that while relatively similar in colour have about an inch and a half difference in heal size. When others notice this it is hard to find any explanation for this extreme blondeness

If you do make the mistake above do not spend half an hour rigorously defending it as a style choice. No one was fooled and if you are prone to blushing you will then get called red Kate all day (as in Ken)

Do not sulk about being laughed at - try to storm off and then fall off said shoes. Spectacularly.

Do not ever admit to weird phobias these will be used against you. Ted seems to have decided that I am mentally challenged due to the occasional squeaks from my desk I stupidly told Rob earlier about my crippling fear of rabbits. Cue the sales team sending pictures of rabbits to me all day causing me to leap up and demand they delete the nasty picture. They also keep singing "Bright Eyes" at me - not obviously scary but singing talent is lacking... (Note to self do not tell them about the spider fear)

There are many other stupid things I could put down here but one thing I did learn was don't give away all your secrets in one go.

Anyway today we are all going to the pub. The sales team seem on the verge of rebellion and after today I need a drink!


  1. Again, this made me smile. You are prolific too x

  2. Trying to think if there is a Kate who works in my office.....No. I think I'm safe!

  3. Hahaah. Love this post! You should combine all your posts and make a novel. You remind me of Sophie Kinsella, who writes those Shopoholic books? They're actually very funny, like your posts!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. Hee hee, love your blog, Kate :-)

  5. Thanks for the comments!

    Plentymorefishoutofwater/GirlWithTheBowTie/Amanda - thanks for all the nice comments - I'll slip you the cash later ;)

    Danzers I really hope I don't work in your office or I will probably be fired on Monday!

  6. You can't get fired! We won't have anything to read about! Oh, yeah, and then you wouldn't have employment, and that, too, would be bad.

    Sorry, I do tend to think how everything affects me first lol.

  7. Ooooh, I did the shoe thing once. Used it as an excuse to go out at lunchtime and buy a new pair.

  8. That bit about the shoes! OMG...too funny.

  9. Your office sounds much more fun than mine does.

    I've worn shoes of different colours before, thankfully the heels were the same height.

  10. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god... The shoe thing soooo funny. I love that you pretended you did it on purpose too! Ha ha ha. x

  11. Lifechick - it's okay I am still employed for now!

    Suzanne - now why didn't I think of that!

    In retrospect pretending the shoe thing was on purpose did not work out well....

    Thanks so much for stopping by - I feel loved :)

    Kate x