Wednesday, 16 September 2009

How not to start a new job

Today’s list of mistakes:

  • 1. (This may not actually be his fault but) he and Jim are at loggerheads. Jay has decided for some reason that Jim must work his entire notice but he will now report into Ted. As Jim has been in the job five years this goes down like a cup of cold sick.

  • 2. Being too chummy with the big boss. Ted got the job through his close friendship with Jay which is no secret. He is also disappearing regularly into Jays office for confidential chats. The result is we are all feeling paranoid. Are they discussing us? Why all the secrecy?

  • 3. Being openly critical of the sales team. On his second day he made pointed comments about people coming back late from lunch. To be fair he was right but even so it probably could have waited a week.

  • 4. He has no tact. The poor man is one of the most tactless people I have even met. His clangers and include to Andi, "Are you okay? You look dreadful," to Jim, "Golly you need a breathe mint." to May "No I don't like belly piercings, especially on the larger lady like yourself." Oh Ted - no just no.

  • 5. Not thinking and announcing loudly about a sales man who called him, "He was clearly some minion on only 25K poor fool." Result we are all glaring and I am really worried about what Jamie is doing to his coffee…

  • 6. Mentioning his old company "The Managers" constantly. I begin to say "This one time at band camp..." whenever he mentions it which makes the others snigger. Poor Ted does not understand.

  • 7. Asking all of us to make time to sit with him and bring our CV's. We all panic and Andi who has been in the company thirteen years is livid.

  • 8. He's not hot. Okay this in itself is not a crime but visible ear hair I find a little gross. I am apparently deeply shallow though… Jamie said yesterday, “No offense Katie but I’ve stepped in puddles deeper than you.” Harsh but true?


  1. Oh dear, this all sounds horribly familiar. But very entertaining... have just added you to my feeds.

    Kate H

  2. Ugh, he sounds like a nightmare! I feel for you. The one really terrible boss I've had happened to be female.

    You know things aren't going to go well when in your introductory meeting, your new boss says, "All of my boyfriends have cheated on me, so I don't trust anyone, and I assume everyone's lying." And, funnily enough, she was right. I routinely deceived her by pretending not to notice she was a complete *psycho*!

  3. i found your blog through Jimmy Rice's plenty more fish out of water blog. lol

  4. I know that if I worked with him I'd hate him but reading about him it just sounds so entertaining. I hope someone is doing something to his coffee!

  5. I am addicted to this blog. Yours and My Midlife Crisis by Danny are so entertaining. There's something heartwarming about yours...and I bet so many people relate to it. I do. This post is hilarious. Right, I am going to stop this pathetic suck up now...

  6. Kate, thanks for visiting - yes the joys of the office!

    lifechick -Wow she sounds like a complete nightmare maybe I should be more appreciative here.

    Dr David, thanks for stopping by I will come visit you later :)

    Princess, I won't be drinking his coffee thats for sure!

    Plentymorefishoutofwater - aw thank you. I really like your blog too and I am officially off to check out Danny..

    Kate x