So I decide to solve my co-worker crush by going to the pub with Rob, Ethan Jamie and Andi.
Very mature I know.
Rob laughs and says he wants to see if I do better with presentations when drunk. Must not drink too much I think as he brings me a Gin and Tonic. This is at midday my meeting is at 3pm. It will be fine.
Gin and Tonic number 1
Rob is probably right a drink will help the nerves when meeting the shareholder of our company I think. And Rob is being very sweet and keeps offering to get more drinks
Gin and Tonic number 2
Oh did I mention Ted is on holiday so there is no pressure to get back to work…
We begin chatting about various topics that I am going to suggest you keep out of your own office including:
- If Ted realises that we all steal his biros every time he gets a new one.
- If you cut off and ate your own arm (not taking bleeding into consideration whether you would weigh the same or less) I suggest less due to calories burned eating it.
- If you would rather lose a leg or never be able to have sex again
- If you would consider incest if your sister looked like Angelina Jolie.
Gin and Tonic number 3
I haven’t eaten today and I have had three G&T’s and feel very bad...
Ethan suddenly says “We’ve been over two hours we better get back to the office.”
There are groans all around and I try to stand up and realise the floor is moving. It seems very funny.
Ethan looks at me in horror – “How much have you had?”
“I’m not sure.” I say smiling, “Rob brought me drink to drink.” I laugh and fall over. Ethan rolls his eyes and says “He’s been giving you doubles you idiot”
I end up being carried by Ethan back to the office. We meet May there who takes one look at me and starts yelling at Rob. I try to tell her not to be cross but can’t stop laughing.
The next half hour consists of Andi and May feeding me toast and coffee continually and by the time our shareholder arrives I can at least walk. Not sure I made a good impression...
Things I learnt today:
- Never let Rob buy you a drink
- Ethan is surprisingly strong
- May is wonderful in a crisis
- Instant coffee tastes like crap
- Men will commit incest if their sister is hot enough