Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Drunk at work, bad influences and meetings

So I decide to solve my co-worker crush by going to the pub with Rob, Ethan Jamie and Andi.

Very mature I know.

Rob laughs and says he wants to see if I do better with presentations when drunk. Must not drink too much I think as he brings me a Gin and Tonic. This is at midday my meeting is at 3pm. It will be fine.

Gin and Tonic number 1
Rob is probably right a drink will help the nerves when meeting the shareholder of our company I think. And Rob is being very sweet and keeps offering to get more drinks
Gin and Tonic number 2
Oh did I mention Ted is on holiday so there is no pressure to get back to work…

We begin chatting about various topics that I am going to suggest you keep out of your own office including:

  • If Ted realises that we all steal his biros every time he gets a new one.
  • If you cut off and ate your own arm (not taking bleeding into consideration whether you would weigh the same or less) I suggest less due to calories burned eating it.
  • If you would rather lose a leg or never be able to have sex again
  • If you would consider incest if your sister looked like Angelina Jolie.

Gin and Tonic number 3
I haven’t eaten today and I have had three G&T’s and feel very bad...
Ethan suddenly says “We’ve been over two hours we better get back to the office.”
There are groans all around and I try to stand up and realise the floor is moving. It seems very funny.
Ethan looks at me in horror – “How much have you had?”
“I’m not sure.” I say smiling, “Rob brought me drink to drink.” I laugh and fall over. Ethan rolls his eyes and says “He’s been giving you doubles you idiot”

I end up being carried by Ethan back to the office. We meet May there who takes one look at me and starts yelling at Rob. I try to tell her not to be cross but can’t stop laughing.
The next half hour consists of Andi and May feeding me toast and coffee continually and by the time our shareholder arrives I can at least walk. Not sure I made a good impression...

Things I learnt today:
  • Never let Rob buy you a drink
  • Ethan is surprisingly strong
  • May is wonderful in a crisis
  • Instant coffee tastes like crap
  • Men will commit incest if their sister is hot enough


  1. Wow, I was reading your other posts when you updated. I sw that when I refreshed the page. So weird. But hey, you had a good day! Well, a fun one, at least. I hope the meeting with the shareholders went well.

    That post really made me laugh. Especially the ending haha. I'm so glad I found your blog. But now I hope that I work in an office like yours. Not sure if it's a good thing yet.

  2. I missed an 'a' in 'saw'. Can't believe it. I was too excited to be the first to comment I think.

    This gives me the opportunity to say; I never knew you could un-drunk yourself with eating toast and drinking coffee. I read somewhere, no matter the amount of food or drink you consume, you'd still be as drunk as you were before. You proved them wrong. (:

  3. Two things. Wow, just wow....and LOOOOOOOL just about sums up this post. What's next with Rob?

  4. lol. this is seriously funny.

    i can't believe rob bought you doubles all the way.

    and i can't believe toast helps sober you up. shall try it next time.

    love this!

  5. Hey Kate!

    Wow...what a day! That post is so funny, especially the part where you ask the questions..:P

    I saw on an Oprah show--where she was talking with Dr.Oz--that it is possible to prevent the effects of a hangover. You have to: eat, take some aspirin with plenty of water, and coffee.

    I suggest you give Rob some crap for bringing you doubles!


  6. You poor thing. That's hilarious, but I still feel a bit of sympathy for you.

    As for men and incest - somehow, I don't find it all that surprising. I cannot say that there is anyone hot enough that I would screw if they were related.

  7. I can't wait to see what you do to get even with Rob. You have's in the rule books. :)

  8. Aw, we never get to have these kinds of hijinks in the states! :P

  9. The last bit of things you learned it literary genius.

  10. Gives meaning to 'learning something new every day!' hehe

    It sounds like you work in the best place- drinking at the pub during work hours? Where can i fill in an application?

    Great post. Very funny! :)

  11. I need to work where you do. I could use a good laugh.

    I think Rob is trying to get you fired!

  12. Hahaha, I love the men will commit incest if their sisters are hot enough one. Damn, now you make me think that I need to drink in the middle of my work day. I'm sure presentations will go WAY better.

  13. Your blog is fun! And your office is definitely much more interesting than mine.

  14. I love your blog! Do you remember anything about the shareholders meeting or is it a blur?

    Thanks for the advice by the way - thinking Seven jeans and a black cashmere top - not brave enough for 'make up free' though - I'll go for the 'natural' make up that men can't spot..


  15. There is no need for incest. That's what the Spank Bank was invented for.

    Not that I've ever done *that* while picturing a family member.

  16. Oooohh!!! I want to work where you work!

  17. Kate, thank you for your lovely comment on my page! I love yours and am totally picturing the movie of the book...

  18. Hey kate!
    Saw that you had stopped by my place, so I ran over to say hi.
    *and I'm a new follower*
    While here, I read this awesomely hilarious post...NICE girl. Way to ROCK the gin and tonic at lunch (ROB: NOT funny.......well - a little funny....but wow!!)
    and you my friend are a freaking CHAMP to do the presentation after that.......
    YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!
    Tami G

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  20. I haven't laughed so hard in DAY's. Great post/blog... almost (just almost) makes me want to come out of retirement :)

    wanted to add: Thank you for your comment on my new blog!

  21. Oh God I've working in offices like that...Ethan sounds nice. Can we hear some more about him?

  22. your office sounds incredibly fun!! and what awesome conversations. it beats the usually boring office conversations bout work and other unimportant stuff hands down!

  23. now that sounds embarassing,
    but extremely funny:D
    who knew that 'double the trouble, double the fun' could a real thing...

  24. I love a good drinking lunch with co-workers

  25. Loving your blog! Office antics sound pretty hilarious

  26. Haha, I'll make sure I always order my own drinks when I need to go back to work.